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Entry date: 1-24-2024 – Whirling Wednesday of Snot – Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,

 

The crud has hit our house. Was it the party on Saturday? Probably. It’s not Covid, but it’s still crud. Hopefully no one else gets it. Rhondi has gotten the worse end of the stick so far, but yesterday was not an easy day at school for me.

 

Stupid rain.

 

I love the rain, but the kids lose their minds on days like yesterday. I wasn’t feeling 100%, was totally grumpy, and instead of realizing that their bread should have been buttered on the side of don’t fuck with the teacher, they turned it up a notch. I’m sure I made more than a few students feel pretty darn low during the day, so I’ll apologize today for being a grump.

 

The Cocaine Baby pulled more stupid crap, too. He likes to pick on this one particular 3rd grader in the bathroom and today it happened again. Being firmly against bullying, I was super charged up about the situation and reminded Cocaine Baby that this type of behavior never pays off for people like him.

 

Sure, it pays off for rich people, but not for dudes like him whose dad might have three or four nickels to rub together. One of these days, some kid is just going to beat the living shit out of the Cocaine Baby and he’ll have no one but himself to blame. It might be a group of kids or somebody’s older brother or sister.

 

This story feels more and more like a broken record. It makes me sad, but there is nothing else I can do for him. He’s got all of my patience. He’s got all of my compassion. He just needs to realize that he’s going to hurt someone and then, most likely, get very hurt himself if he keeps this up.

 

Stupid rain, indeed.

 

*****

 

Quick Suns chat. I’ve been really distancing myself from the NBA as of late compared to previous years of my life. I only watch the games that I can see without having to pay for them and even then, I don’t pay as much attention as in years past. Monday night, though, they came back again and maybe, just maybe, they can be a force in the league. I still think they need at least one, maybe two more players they can kind of count on.

 

Yesterday I happened to hear an interview with Kevin Durant, and I certainly do like the guy. He is nothing like I thought he was when I watched him from afar over the years. He’s thoughtful, honest, and humble in an interview. Good qualities to have when you’re one of the best athletes in your sport ever. It reminded me that while the Suns have had many really good, even great, players, they have not that many guys who rank among the very best to play basketball ever. This is special.

 

*****

 

The early 90s were a wild time to be a devoted music fan. Maybe every era was a wild time to be musically inclined, but at least for my lifetime, the early 90s molded me into the musician, and probably person, I am. It was crazy at times.

 

I don’t remember who hipped me to the Cows. It was probably one of the dudes at Eastside Records, Geoff, maybe, but I was in from the get-go. They were noisy and weird and when I first saw them live, holy shit. I think the first time I saw them was at Boston’s on McClintock and Hammerhead was on the bill, too, with Fork. I’m pretty sure that was the lineup.

 

Hammerhead rocked our faces off, as did Fork, but then the Cows came out and all hell broke loose. I remember standing there with Michael eagerly awaiting the spectacle that had been promised by friends who had seen them before. Shannon, the Cows singer, pulled a prosthetic foot out of the fly of his pants and started fondling it. We were smitten kittens.

 

This had to be around the time that Sexy Pee Story came out. It might have even been the tour for this record, but I could be wrong. It matters not, though. I can picture that fake foot coming out and remember Michael and I going, “What the fuck?” I was into it.

 

The first side of Sexy Pee Story is pretty darn good. Songs like “Shitbird” and “Doing the Obvious” are pretty good examples of what the Cows could do. I remember listening to it on the way up to Colorado Springs in December of 1993 and just digging it until I got to what would be side two if it had been vinyl.

 

I especially like the pace and guitar work on “Ch” which is the fourth song. It’s a pretty straight forward rocker, well, if the Cows played straightforward rockers. The bass is so good on the record, too. Kevin Rutmanis is one of my all-time favorite bass players. We played with him and his wife back in September in San Pedro. They are called Lord and Lady Kevin, and they are a sight and sound to behold, but that’s another story.

 

“39 Lashes” is also really good, but after that and the title track, the record starts to lose me a bit. After I got more into the band and heard a few of their other records, Sexy Pee Story kind of took a backseat for me. I remember thinking that the second half of the record felt very Nirvana/Grunge influenced to me, almost as if someone said, “Hey dudes! That Nirvana band is huge. Do you have any songs like that?”

 

Even thirty years later, I still feel like the Cows kind of mailed in the last four or five songs. I don’t think I would go out of my way to listen to Sexy Pee Story anymore, though I still love the band a lot and owe them a debt of gratitude and an apology.

 

We opened for them at the Mason Jar in 1996, I think, or 1997 and I stupidly said, “We are the greatest band you will ever see” during our set. I was joking, but no one seemed to take it that way. After the gig was over, I was talking to Shannon, the singer, and he was being cool, but he called me out on that. I deserved it.

 

Out of the last four songs, I would give “Mrs. Cancelled” a spin, probably, and that’s it. Even that one is not one I would really recommend to any new fans. It’s super Nirvana-ish, as is “You Owe Me” and “Sugar Torch.” I wonder if they were doing that on purpose? Give’em a listen and tell me you don’t hear some Cobain in there.

 

Not their best effort, but still way better than Guns ‘N’ Roses.

 

*****

 

See you tomorrow.



The sun shone on the mountain and it was good.

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