Dear Friends,
Yesterday, I had to stop a male fourth grade student from bullying another male fourth grader. This might not seem like a big deal, but the way the bully responded to me was spine chilling. He clearly did not care about what was happening, nor did he care about what I was saying to him, and it was obvious that he was enjoying it.
This student is relatively new to our school. His teacher is on my team and is not the type of dude to handle this situation. Frankly, I’m very surprised they didn’t give this student to me. Perhaps the administration didn’t think the bully and the Cocaine Baby could co-exist. Maybe they knew that the bully would probably kill the Cocaine Baby.
I ran into the young lady who is in charge of handling our in-school detentions on the way out of the building and gave her a heads up that I had written the bully up. She shared with me that when he came for his first day, this young man was kicking and punching his mother as she pushed him in the door of the school. It explained a lot.
Over the years, be it as a classroom teacher or when I worked with Casa, I encountered a few of these types of children who seemed to be, for lack of a better term, evil. I’m going to have to escort this budding felon off campus each day from now on. The saddest part is I can see how their life will end up.
There were a few women I encountered when I worked at the women’s prison who were just evil. Most of the ladies there had simply made some mistakes but weren’t inherently bad. There were a few, though, who were just plain scary. It didn’t matter how you treated them. They would hurt you if they could. This boy reminds me of them.
As bad as the Cocaine Baby can be, he’s not evil. The “Bully,” though. I see it in his eyes.
Some of you might read this and think, “No ten-year-old child is evil.” I wish you were right, but you’re not. Certainly, there are mental health issues going on and probably abuse, and I’m sure in the right situation, there is help that can pull him out of this spiral of power and control over those he feels are inferior to him.
I can also say that the staff at my school are not equipped to handle this kind of intense anger. This is not a dig, either, at anyone on my team. They are good and talented people. They care but there is simply not enough time or knowledge of serious anger issues to help people like the bully on our campus.
I don’t have the expertise either. I’ve thought about going the counseling route and trying to help these kids. For so many years, lots of people I know (and knew professionally) thought I was a counselor because of what I did at Casa. I’m not, though. I just love to help students learn and be better people. I wish I could step in and help him, but I can already see in his eyes that he’ll never listen to me or anyone else as long as his focus is on hurting others.
Fucking full moons.
*****
I wish I could say I feel better, but I don’t. I was wiped out after working yesterday and I’ll I wanted to do was eat some soup and go to bed. I watched an episode of Northern Exposure and it was good. Someday they will have the ability to create a VR experience where you will be able to immerse yourself in a TV show. I hope I’m not dead when that happens. I want to go and hang out in Cicely. I’d like to talk philosophy with Chris in the Morning or hang out with Ruth Anne and Ed. It would be fun to hang out with all of them.
*****
Very few records have changed my life the way Fugazi by Fugazi has. In May of 1989, my buddy Paul asked if Religious Skid wanted to open for Fugazi at a place called Time Out of Mind. The venue was a warehouse down by Phoenix’s Sky Harbor Airport and we jumped at the chance. Fugazi had become part of our world that year and everyone I knew was very excited about the band.
I’ve written about the show in the blog before, but it was a pivotal moment for me. Here was a band that everyone I knew thought was cool as shit and we got to play with them. Better yet, the band ended up hanging out with us for much of the show and happily signed the aforementioned EP for me afterwards. I still have it. I might be buried with it.
Fugazi is pretty much a perfect record. When the full-length came out later in 1989, I bought it on CD right away and listened to it all the time. The songs just sunk themselves into my consciousness and having had a short connection with the band, I felt like I was supporting my friends by being a fan. I never missed a chance to see Fugazi live.
The bassline that starts the record in “Waiting Room” is one of my all-time favorite bass lines. We covered it in Bourbon Witch and it is very fun to play. The song just kills and, at least for me, I can’t not pay attention to it when I hear it.
I think one of my favorite things about Fugazi, too, is that here is this guy, Ian Mackaye, who had been the lead singer in the legendary Minor Threat, was also this incredibly inventive guitar player. He did a lot with a little and made these incredible riffs that were built on mostly minimalistic ideas. Obviously, it helps that his bandmates, Guy Picciotto (vocals and guitar occasionally), Brendan Canty (drums), and Joe Lally (bass) are all incredibly talented.
“Bulldog Front” allows the listener to get to know how the band feels when Picciotto takes over on lead vocals. He has such a cool style of delivering his fantastic lyrics. The interplay between he and Mackaye is just a master class on how to do a double lead vocal band.
After Religious Skid was done, I was band-less for a while. At one point, my buddy Shelton and I tried to get something going where we were going to share lead vocal duties like Fugazi. It never got off the ground, although we did have a few fun practices and it was maybe the first time I ever played bass with a drummer and guitar player. Fugazi was (and is) so inspiring to me.
I keep getting distracted by the record as I sit here and type. The little build up in “Bad Mouth” before the vocals come in is just so choice. When Mackaye sings, “You can’t be what you were so you better start being just what you are” is so powerful. I love the continued message of Fugazi songs that you should “do it now” which is what Ian wrote on the record sleeve by where he printed his name.
To have been a fly on the wall when Fugazi was initially putting these songs would have been a joy to experience. I dare you to listen to “Give Me The Cure” and imagine what it would have been like to see and hear them put the song together. It’s just so big and lush and powerful. I would have loved to have seen the smiles on their faces as they realized what they had done. The recording is just perfect.
“Suggestion” is another song that has just stuck with me for the last 35 years. It was very inspiring to me during the years I worked is rape prevention education. I have wanted to write similar songs and have tried on a couple of occasions, but I have never been able to get close to the power of Fugazi. The one possible exception to this is a Father Figures song called “Total Fakery.” I dubbed it this because it has a super Fugazi-ish vibe and riff.
Like several of the other records I have touched on this month, this will not be the only Fugazi release I write about this year.
*****
See you tomorrow.
There is a first time for everything. This record deserves to be seen, too.
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