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Entry date: 10-9-2024 – Three Days to Go – Letters to My Friends

phnart

Dear Friends,

 

I’m very much dreading Saturday. I know it is the main reason I am in Maine at the moment, and it is a necessary celebration of a man’s life, but it will be the final straw in making this whole thing seem real. All too real, really.

 

Yesterday, Rhondi and I met with Doug’s lawyer, who is now our lawyer for this matter, and that was real enough. We made a day of it, though, and went to Farmington for a few things. I grabbed a quick nap on the way home and woke up as she was driving through downtown Rangeley. For a split second, when I woke up, I thought, “Oh, Doug will be waiting for us when we get home.”

 

It felt very real.

 

I have been working on his eulogy. I haven’t been able to get through it yet without crying. It’s going to take a little work between now and then to get used to the words I have written and get used to the feelings they evoke. I keep thinking about Jerry Seinfeld’s quip from years ago about how most people would rather be the person in the box than the one eulogizing someone. I paraphrase here, but you get the idea.

 

It was something about the fear of public speaking being worse than the fear of death.

 

I’m not afraid of public speaking at all, but I am afraid of publicly losing my shit in a room full of people, mostly, that I don’t know. This seems reasonable to me. With practice, though, I will get through it and do the man the honor he deserves.

 

***** 

 

It was 38 degrees outside when I got up yesterday morning. Will it even get down to 38 degrees in Phoenix this year? I doubt it.

 

Speaking of weather, my heart is reaching out towards the people of Florida right now. Scary shit, this Milton. There is that line from Garp where he’s talking about the guy Helen cheated on him with, Michael Milton, and he says his name “sounds like a flavor in a gay ice cream parlor.” When I think of Milton, I don’t think of anything scary until now.

 

From what I’ve been reading, though, it seems like this is just one of many storms like this we can expect in the coming years. Higher water temperatures will breed these things like mosquitoes.

 

But the Governor of Florida won’t work with the President on this because they are on opposite sides of the fence. Hooray for the people of Florida. What a great leader they have.

 

Fuck that guy.

 

***** 

 

“Maybe, I’m never going to make it.”

 

When “Boilermaker” kicks in to start Liar by Jesus Lizard, there is nothing else I want to do in the world but listen to this record. Liar came around the time I decided to give my allegiance to the Jesus Lizard as the best live band I had ever seen up to that point. As much as I love the Butthole Surfers, I had to admit to myself that Jesus Lizard were a better live band.

 

The riffs on Liar are just stupid good. David Wm. Sims bass lines make me want to either play my bass every day in the hope that I will come up with something worthy of him or just stop playing all together. “Gladiator” starts with this incredible bass line and I can just see him standing there playing it like it was nothing. I love the guy, but I also hate that smug look he gets on his face when he plays.

 

It’s the look of someone who knows he will be playing the coolest bass lines in the joint that night.

 

I was fortunate to play with Jesus Lizard twice as a member of Hillbilly Devilspeak and they were very kind to us each time. Sims was complimentary of my bass tone at one of the shows and I just about peed myself. It was a kindness, for sure. His tone is legendary.

 

Toward the end of “Gladiator” Sims does these little runs that are so great. They are kind of in the background before the big descending riff that really kicks off the end, but they just rule. The thing is, though, he never lets up on the entirety of Liar. It all rules.

 

David Yow’s vocals, similarly, continue to just kick ass throughout the record, too. Same for Duane Dennison’s guitar and Mac McNeilly’s drums. On “The Art of Self-Defense” all of them totally shine. It’s, as I like to write, a ‘mover.’ It moves me.

 

But then, so does “Slave Ship.” Here’s Sims again creating this ultra creepy counter melody to Dennison’s rad guitar line. Those guys made some killer stuff together. I listen and I’m just in awe. “Slave Ship” would have been a cool one to be there in the practice room with them as they wrote their lines together. I could be totally wrong on this…maybe they came up with them separately and it was just a happy accident, but I don’t see how it could be like that. It’s magic, though.

 

The Jesus Lizard were really firing away on all cylinders at this point. As much as I love Goat, and Goat is a great record, I don’t know if I could honestly say it is better than Liar. I think maybe it is because I love “Mouthbreather” so much that I love Goat just a tiny bit more. While I sit here immersed in Liar, though, I feel like I might be barking up the wrong tree.

 

“Puss” is a great example of why I am barking up the wrong tree. “Give me something to stop the bleeding” snarls Yow before the rest of the band just takes the fuck over and rocks out. I’m feeling extremely grateful to have seen the band play this song at least four times in their heyday. Pure power that comes off as completely economical. There are no wasted notes, screams, or beats.

 

Then “Whirl” comes on and you have to just shake your head. What the fuck, Jesus Lizard? How in the hell do you have a middle of the record that is sofa king strong? Dennison rules on this one so hard. The guitar parts are fucking epic. Turn it up.

 

Why not just keep the party going with “Rope.” McNeilly is playing this fucked up, sped up, country kind of beat and away they go. “Rope” is the perfect name for this one. What a goddamn great drummer. It was a bummer when he left the band for a while, but I’m so glad he is back. Those idiots better come to Phoenix, though.

 

If there is even the tiniest bit of a let down on the record, it might be “Perk.” I like the song a lot, but it isn’t really as memorable as the other tracks. Yow does deliver the goods, though, vocally. Sims, too. Damn it. I’m wrong again. It’s a good one. It just doesn’t start out super strong.

 

“Zachariah” was a favorite, though, from the first time I heard it. It’s a bit dark at the outset and is the longest song on the record. It turns into this slow, semi-drunk sounding song (thanks to the slide guitar), but holy shit if it doesn’t just crank. Liar is such a better record for its inclusion. Yow really shines on this one towards the end.

 

“Dancing Naked Ladies” closes out the version I have on vinyl and CD (but there is a longer version on the streamers that is rad). This song is kind of a reminder that several of the Lizard guys cut their teeth in Texas. It’s a bit of a raucous one and noisy, too. Perfect way to end a great record.

 

Again…Jesus Lizard, if you are listening, you should always play Phoenix.

 

*****

 

See you tomorrow.



Wilton, ME. We passed through here today. AI made it look almost as good as we saw it.

 

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