Dear Friends,
New month, new attitude.
Ha.
I don’t have the best attitude at the moment, and I can’t quite put my finger on why so I’m just going to let it go. Maybe a new attitude is in order. Maybe a new month will help.
There are definitely things to look forward to this month. I get to see Mark, Mo, Felix, and Matt next week. I’ll get to see several other old friends, too, if I’m lucky. I get to play music with my friends and go pick up my wife towards the end of the month. It’s going to be a quick, adventure-filled month.
Hell, I even get to see both oceans. I know that I am a fortunate guy and I am grateful.
I love my wife and family and my friends and all my various jobs. Perhaps my attitude for November is overwhelmingly going to be “GRATITUDE.” I like that idea a lot. Maybe I should write about what I am thankful for as I slowly put the brakes on this old daily grind of writing about my life.
Perhaps this is the reminder I have been asking the universe for lately.
I have been very thankful for what this blog has given me. It’s been a scale, in a way, balancing me out. A lot has changed for me in the past three years and most of it has been very positive.
When you spend the kind of time I have spent looking at and into my life for over 1000 days and over a million words, you start to realize a lot of things. It’s freeing, some days, and a hangman’s noose, other days, although I am my own hangman.
I am very thankful that anyone gives this any attention. I don’t think I quite knew what I wanted to do with this, ever, except to write and write and write more. I love it when people read it and talk to me about what I’ve read or tell me it has impacted them. It’s very satisfying, but I don’t ever expect anyone to read this every day or even every week.
The gratitude I feel for the people who encourage me and push me to do more is immense. I can’t thank my dad or Tom J or Chris or Dolly or the others who visit regularly enough. A good number of people have stuck with me on this for long periods of time and it has helped me keep going.
Gratitude is a beautiful thing.
Happy Friday and…hell….I’ve turned my attitude around just by writing. Thank you for being part of that with me.
*****
As a kid who liked going to the teen dance clubs in 1984 and 1985, one of the bands that I grew to love was Bronski Beat. The singles “Why?” and “Smalltown Boy” off The Age of Consent were getting regular play at Tommy’s, where I hung out, and I bought the cassette tape of that record after it came out. The songs really struck a chord with me.
I thought the songs were both beautifully done and extremely powerful. Jimmy Somerville’s falsetto was definitely way different than the punk rock singers I loved at the time or Wall of Voodoo or U2, which were also in heavy rotation in my life. The closest thing that I was listening to was Frankie Goes to Hollywood and in comparison, Frankie sounded pretty macho compared to Bronski Beat.
At 14/15 years old, I was trying to figure out who I was. Part of me was super worried that I might be gay. Not because I was attracted to men, but because of the way I liked to dress and wear my hair. My dad and I were often going round and round about my appearance and he expressed to me on several occasions that I looked gay.
I need to point out that I don’t blame him or condemn him for this. It was a different time, and I was changing in a lot of ways. I was super curious about sex and these conversations had me wondering if liking music by gay musicians made me gay. I loved this Bronski Beat record, but it didn’t make me want to kiss a boy. It made me want to kiss girls, though.
The thing about The Age of Consent is that the music is really fucking great. Somerville’s voice just brings these song over the top. It’s got the two hits, sure, but the other songs are so heartfelt and lovely that whenever I throw it on, I’m reminded of how glad I was that I got that cassette tape all those years ago.
“No More War,” for example, is really simple yet Somerville takes it to a place where you just feel the strength of his voice and conviction in the delivery of the song. “Love and Money” is another one that just didn’t get it’s due for the same reasons.
The themes presented on this record were a lot to consider. I have always been sensitive to homophobia because people I loved growing up and still love faced a ton of it. I thought it was bullshit. Why can’t you just love who you want to love? I think that was what the guys in Bronski Beat were trying to say with The Age of Consent.
It’s easy for me to say all these things, I know. I have no idea how hard it was to be a gay man or woman in those days. I was never discriminated against for being a straight, white male. Sure, I identify with that meme that says “I was punk when it was called ‘Hey, faggot!’” but I also knew that was just idiots being idiots. I could kiss my girlfriend in public without ever being insulted or beaten up for it.
You can feel the pain of that type of ostracizing in the songs on The Age of Consent. “Smalltown Boy” oozes it and still remains a beautiful song that I loved dancing to when I was a teenage boy. There is that part where Somerville sings about how the family of the boy don’t understand why he had to leave that is just so haunting.
“Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.”
The snappiness of “Heatwave” served as a really great tension changer for the record. It still feels like the same record, but it helps the mood become more enhanced, plus the music, especially the electronic percussion, is way more upbeat. I’ve always liked this one and how it comes on the heels of “Smalltown Boy” with something more blatantly hopeful.
“Junk” is just kind of there. I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t do a lot for me. “Need a Man Blues” sounds a bit Depeche Mode-ish, but it’s a fine song. The real treat at the end of the record is “I Feel Love/Johnny Remember Me.” That song really finishes things quite strong. I happen to love cover of the old Giorgio Moroder/Donna Summer song. It has been a favorite of mine for the last five decades.
There is a new version of this record out now with some remixes and remastering. I’m sure it will sound great. I haven’t heard it yet, but I’m guessing I will pick one up. Jimmy Somerville is someone I would love to interview one day.
I was also today year’s old when I realized that there was a guy in the band with the last name Bronski. This is how closely I paid attention, I suppose. How did I fucking miss that?
*****
See you tomorrow.
Gotta be thankful for AI.
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