Dear Friends,
Last night, I wrote a blog for today that I wussed out on and couldn’t share. I’ve been battling some feelings lately about my mother and I wrote it all out. Well, not all of it, but enough to where I thought, “I can’t share this.”
It was about 1300 words of me being not really very nice. I’m bitter about some things, as many people are when it comes to parents and close family. I went too far with what I wrote, though, and decided to not publish it.
Maybe someday I will.
Sadly, I am not willing to do the work to make the situation better. I have a callous on my soul when it comes to certain aspects of my life, and this is one of those times. I just want the situation to go away.
Some of you who read this have met my mom. I don’t want to drag her through the mud here, at least not yet, and while I don’t understand a lot of the decisions she makes, I guess I have to do my best, as her son, so respect them.
This is where I will leave it.
*****
Yesterday was really nice. I visited Granny and had a nice talk with her. Then Rhondi made a wonderful dinner at Doug’s. My dad and Lori came, so did Frank and Patti, and several of our kids, including Ryan and Mia. Sadly, Bree (my daughter-in-law) wasn’t feeling well, and Liam was working, so we missed them.
It was so wonderful to get some Mia time. She’s as cute as a bug in a rug. She fell asleep on me, and I couldn’t have been a happier grandpa. I can’t wait to find out what she is going to call me. As far as I’m concerned, she could call me anything and I would be fine with it.
The weather was perfect for hanging outdoors, too. The night ended with Doug, Rhondi, and I sitting around the table outside and sharing how wonderful little Mia is among other things. I listened to the Suns game a bit on the way home and then again when I picked Liam up.
I miss Al McCoy, but Jon Bloom is pretty good so far and the Suns pulled out a double-overtime game. They have a little grit in them after all.
I was so tired when I got back from picking up Liam that it contributed greatly to the mean-spirited blog I wrote originally. I just don’t want to be “that” guy, or I would share it. I also don’t like the idea of airing my dirty laundry here in a way that might really hurt someone else. I’ve already flirted with that a few times and don’t want to do it again.
Self-deprecation is the way to go, I think, so here it is: I’m a giant idiot.
*****
I’m very proud of my son, Ryan. He’s got “Amazing Dad” written all over him right now and I love it. To see him just be so in love with his daughter is so great. It was really nice to see the rest of the family fawning over her, too. She’s pretty darn special and, no lie, so well-mannered and freaking perfect. She’s not even four-months-old yet and she’s already sleeping through the night.
*****
Super baby aside, I let a few things get me down at the end of the day and I wrote some really negative stuff. I don’t want to be that guy, so I’m keeping it to myself. I don’t think anyone probably wants to read me bag on people close to me.
*****
I’ll say this:
You never cared.
You said you did, but you didn’t.
You made a nice show of it, but it was fake.
Shows get cancelled all the time.
*****
Poetry gets the win and the wang.
See you tomorrow.
She's a keeper.
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