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Entry date: 12-23-2022 - KISS and a few other things - Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,

What a shit show Thursday was. Seriously. I learned that I cannot have a party with my students like the one we had yesterday. They were awful. I have to remember that I had about four months with my second graders last year before we had a class party, but still.

Many of the students stepped up and brought treats, but a lot of those treats ended up ground into the carpet. I feel so bad for the people, who are very fucking nice by the way, who clean my classroom. What a terrible Christmas gift I left them. I did my best to get things straightened up, but the carpet is in bad shape.

I suppose there were worse classrooms.

I also had a fourth grader step up to me like he wanted to fight. That was fun. One of the classes decided to do some caroling and it was super cute. The fourth grader in question took it upon himself to come out of my neighboring classroom and tell the other class to "Shut up."

A few minutes later, he came out again and I asked him to come over to me. I asked him why he thought it was okay to say "Shut up" and he stepped to me as if he wanted to fight. He's a big kid, but I think I could take him. Anyway, he said "Because I wanted to and that's that" and ran back into his classroom. I feel for his teacher.

I felt like giving him the "Bender" speech from Breakfast Club about knocking his dick in the dirt, but by the time he is 18, I'll be old. Instead I just went back to hating my own class on the oh, so special day that we had.

After work, I went to pick up some dry cleaning that I needed to pick up. The place I go is at 7th Ave and Missouri and it was about 4:30, so the middle lane was open for traffic going north. For those of you who don't know Phoenix, back in the late 70's or early 80's, the city decided to make the middle lane on 7th Avenue a driving lane during rush hour. It has caused a few accidents.

Some asshole came up behind me and got into the turning lane. I tried to gesture to him to go before someone came speeding along, but he waited for me. It seems he was going to the dry cleaner to and was pissed off that I waved my hand at him. I explained myself and he clearly had no clue about the lanes, but decided to stay being an asshole.

I should have given him the Bender speech and let him know that today was his day to get his dick knocked in the dirt. Fuckhead.

Anyway, that was my day. Then I went to jam with two friends who are absolute rippers and all was well in the world. More on that later.

Without further ado, here are the notes I prepared to for a podcast that has yet to air. It was called, "Convince Me to Like this Band" and it was a lot of fun to do, but the second season never came out. I was the anti-KISS guy and I had to argue my point with a father/daughter team of KISS lovers. They were great sports and we had a good rapport, for sure. Hopefully someday it will come out.


Kiss Notes

The band was clearly listening to a lot of Mott the Hoople, although their sound was not necessarily as intricate as Mott the Hoople. Bubblegum influence was clear. If they were not wearing makeup…

Kiss (self-titled) (1974) -

Musically, this record is just good time rock and roll. Nothing special at all and not particularly remarkable if you take away the fact that the band is dressed up like scary troll dolls.

Strutter” starts off promising. It really does. Stanley has the requisite confidence needed to get ladies to look at him in the small clubs they were playing at the time. Then the heavy metal light guitars come in between verses. “Strutter” is a song they replicated many times.

Nothin’ to Lose” is nothing worth remembering...except that Peter Criss uses a drum roll to kick everything off. More good time rock with a bit of a Southern vibe until the ridiculous chorus comes in. Apparently this song is about Simmons coercing his gf into having anal. Great. Is this the first song from a major band to touch on sodomy?

Firehouse” has a little Rolling Stones kinda rhythm guitar that could have been better without Gene Simmons' overweight bass line drawing away from it. Not a terrible song, but again, without the makeup, would anyone have cared? Could these guys have been Night Ranger?

Cold Gin” is a popular song. I’ve heard people talk about it. Never understood the attraction. Sounds very much like other songs on this record. Also a song about sex and the supposed effect cold gin can have on a flagging erection.

Let me know” - who cares?

Kissin’ Time” might be the worst bubble gum song I’ve ever heard and was seemingly embarrassing to the band that it was included on the record. The was originally covered by Bubblegum guy, Bobby Rydell.. That chorus...although then .

Deuce” comes in and while it has some killer guitar work, the lyrics again, are something any 14 year old could come up with while sitting on the john and dropping a deuce. I do enjoy Redd Kross’ version of this song, though. They pick up the pace a bit and the McDonald brothers harmonies on it turn it into something better, even though Steven was about 17 when their cover came out.

Love Theme from Kiss” is obviously filler.The fade at the end sells it as such.

100,000 Years” is a terrible attempt at a prog-ish riff. Gene Simmons will never be Chris Squier. And again. The lyrics. Is he sorry he’s been gone so long or just waiting for her to say how great he is?

Black Diamond” is one of the early examples of too many “ooh, oohs” in Kiss songs. Ace Frehley’s guitar is super annoying too.There is no real flow to this choppy riff. The song should have ended, but know, there is a big plodding breakdown in the middle. Do you think Kenny Kerner or Richie Wise said, “hey, we need an ending song. Can you guys milk this shit for a while longer?” Then Gene Simmons said, “Well, my tongue is really long.”

Hotter than Hell (1974)- The production on this record is a bit sludgier than other Kiss offerings which is actually a plus. They swamped it up a bit, but apparently the band wasn’t super jazzed on this.

Got to Choose” is totally unremarkable. Terrible lead off song and more bubblegum heavy metal light nonsense.

Parasite” might be the first Kiss verse that I really like, if you listen to the records chronologically. But like Kiss always does, they fuck it up with a terrible chorus.

Goin’ Blind” is much better when the Melvins play it. Mic drop. Seriously, though. I like the Kiss version, too. Of the early songs, it is by far the best.

Hotter Than Hell” is a pretty unremarkable title song. Criss rockin’ the cowbell, though. Could this have inspired “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”? Probably not. That song is way cooler than anything Kiss ever did.

Let Me Go, Rock and Roll” made me realize how much boogie woogie is in Simmons’ songwriting. This could have almost been a country song. I could totally see Billy Ray Cyrus rockin’ this.

All the Way” - Gene Simmons is just so rapey that you might think this song is about sex, but it’s basically a way to tell a woman to shut up. Nice. For someone with a huge tongue, you really shouldn’t say too much about what comes out of other people’s mouths.

Watchin’ You” is a Tens Years After/early Fleetwood Mac (Peter Green era) ripoff. They flat out stole that riffage. I could see Melvins covering this one, too. Total stoner rock anthem stuff. I like it, even if I have heard it done better by other bands. Motorpsycho’s version is pretty badass.

Mainline” - cowbell is back. Full force. Criss’ vocals always had that sort of Rod Stewart-y scratchy throat thing going on. I kind of had a soft spot for his songs, but again, this song sounds like he’s trying to get into some woman’s pants. But he is “Hot like an oven.”

Comin’ Home” sounds, at first, like a lost track from the Fast Times At Ridgemont High soundtrack. Another totally unremarkable offering from Kiss.

Strange Ways” is another song that probably helped to start stoner rock. I kinda dig the Hypocrisy version, though, if I had to listen to it. Luckily, I don’t.

It’s really fun to listen to how dated this album is and how basic the members of Kiss really were in those days when it comes to originality and the intricacy of their riffs. Which, to put it more succinctly. They sucked.

Dressed To Kill (1975) - The first record without Kerner and Wise at the helm. The first record of theirs I remember seeing in the record shops and being intrigued by these scary gangsters. I was 6.

Room Service” geez, another song about sexin’ up the ladies. This time from Stanley’s point of view which comes off as less rapey and more desperate.

Two Timer” - after all of the songs about taking advantage of women on the first few records, are we supposed to feel sorry for Simmons here? Fuck that guy.

Ladies In Waiting” - well, that was quick. We’re back to objectifying women. Supermarket references and talking about gals “Waiting in line”...Yes. Let’s write songs that will make pubescent boys feel justified when they look at a woman they find attractive as if they’re a piece of meat. Nice one.

Getaway” - perhaps Billy Joel was influenced by this one when he wrote “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)” which came out two years after this one. It’s actually nice when Kiss writes a mediocre song that is not about women. Like a breath of basic air.

Rock Bottom” - oooh. Pretty. I haven’t really had a chance to talk much about Ace, but this intro sticks out like a sore thumb for the early Kiss records. Of course, more of this ballad-y bullshit would come later, but this song is a nice change until you think of all the other bands that have done this type of thing better. Um, Zeppelin, anyone? This is another one of the lyrical offerings from Stanley that just sort of meanders around a phrase like “Rock Bottom.” Guessing most hardcore Kiss fans are not big readers.

C’mon and Love Me” - I’m picturing the guys from Kiss sitting around the rehearsal room and talking about these great lyrics they’ve come up with and just hoping that no one ever figures out that they are just regurgitating the same crap over and over. “Baby, baby, don’t you hesitate cuz I just can’t wait”? Really? “C’mon on and love me?” Nope.

Anything for my baby” - A song that doesn't totally objectify a woman? Wow. Oh yeah, it’s not a Gene song. This song is also a total Who rip-off.

She” - total stoner riff. Apparently this was a song that predated Wicked Lester, the band Stanley and Simmons did prior to Kiss. Frehley’s guitar solo has been said to be ripping off Robbie Krieger (Doors) and his work on “Five to One” and you can hear it. Supposedly the dude from Pearl Jam ripped Frehley off for “Alive” so all is fair.

Love Her All You Can” - well, it is a War rip off to start. “Low Rider” anyone? Paul again writing a song that doesn’t objectify women while only slightly patronizing them.

Rock and Roll All Nite” - Probably their first truly iconic song. Who doesn’t love this song. Can’t really say anything bad about it and that’s the truth. Very easy to bob the head this one and sign along, even if you’re only joining in for the pre-chorus and chorus.

Alive (1975) - The best thing about this record, when you were a young kid in the 70s was the introduction. These songs from the first few records are often superior in the energy they bring and several sound less bubblegum-y than their studio counterparts. The record also shows the growth of the bands as musicians, but...lyrically, they ain’t Dylan.

Of course, this record fully cements that “Strutter” is an Osmonds rip-off. Listen to “Crazy Horses”

Fuck. It just hit me that if Kiss had stayed in their makeup forever, there would be a conspiracy theory that they were the Osmonds.

For years they denied that Alive is full of overdubs, yet it is. But really, should anyone be surprised that a band that rose to fame wearing makeup and platform boots would pass off a live record that wasn’t completely live? Even the crowd noise was doctored.

Destroyer (1976) - I remember this record really well from my youth. All my friends had it and I was a bit jealous because when it came out, I had no Kiss records. I mean, I was six, going on seven, but still. The picture on the front was so cool, at least to a little kid like I was at the time. Bob Ezrin (Alice Cooper) was brought in to produce which explains the jump in both production value and bells and whistles on this record. Was Kiss maturing? No, but they made money on Alive so they might as well spend a bit more to make this one.

Detroit Rock City” - another song that I’ve always liked from Kiss and one that admittedly a band I’ve been in sort of lifted a riff from. The intro part, for me, goes on way too long and I just want to get to the song. I also tend to like the updated mix better than the original. The song is probably too long, too, but it’s still all right.

King of the Night Time World” - again, not a terrible song. A band with a less bombastic look would have probably made a video where they rode around in a convertible at night and had fun with it. Lyrically it is pretty much pandering to suburban kids with nothing to do except spend $7.99 at their local music store. Kim Fowley got a writing credit on this…and probably lived off the royalties for a while.

God of Thunder” - just dumb. This song is like Rocky in the beginning of the first movie. Slow, plodding, and possibly “special.” The country version of this from 2009 is something you just have to see.

Great Expectations” - Simmons sticks to what he knows best which is sexual innuendo. Can definitely feel the Ezrin influence in here as it could easily be an Alice Cooper song, although Alice would have come up with better lyrics. Bloated pile of shit song.

Flaming Youth” - filler. Straight up. More like flaming poop.

Sweet Pain” - Dick Wagner’s lead on this is probably the best thing about this song. Do you even know who Dick Wagner is? Probably not. Forever the poseur for dough, Simmons sings about S/M even though he would probably be more worried about the corporate side of Kiss’ S&P credit rating.

Shout It Out Loud” - Is this Kiss trying to win over some disco fans? I think so.

Beth” - Peter Criss and his sensitive side. Probably my favorite song on the record until I dated a girl named Beth and then, well, I learned to hate it. I do love the Ed Hall version that is more appropriately renamed, “Deth” and has updated lyrics. I have a vague memory of one of the tv performances of this and seeing Criss lip sync it and wondering what was wrong with him. Now I know that nothing was wrong with him. He was just wasted.

Do You Love Me” - This is the point of listening to Kiss where I have to stop and listen to something else. I almost made it through the whole record without wishing that I was listening to anything else. This song is just terrible and the lyrics come from Kim Fowley again. He and Simmons had similar ways of looking at and treating women, I think. Birds of a feather.

Rock and Roll Party” - Ezrin getting tricky with the studio effects. Next record, please.

Rock And Roll Over (1976) - The band was prolific in the early days. When you’ve got all these pent up emotions left over from adolescence and you’re now successful enough to just keep cranking stupid shit out, I suppose go for it. This explains why there are so many people between 55 and 65 wearing MAGA hats. Idiots.Their 10 song formula is becoming brutally apparent here. 4 songs sung by Gene, 4 songs sung by Paul, and two sung by Peter.

I Want You” - One of the weakest openings of any record I’ve ever heard. This wants to be funky, but it is just choppy and messy. Shit, basically. S-H-I-T. Stanley writes such dumb lyrics. Not as dumb as Gene, but dumb.

Take Me” - filler, again. Stanley and Sean Delaney, who was the Kiss choreographer and self-proclaimed fifth member of the band, wrote this one and the lyrics, again, read like

something a teenage boy would write while going through a jar of vaseline and a box of kleenex.

(I had to take a break from Kiss here and listen to Lard’s Last Temptation of Reid record. So good!)

Calling Dr. Love” - Simmons talks about a woman not needing to pay for his services if she just gets on her knees. This is getting really boring. How many songs can he write like this. Oh, wait. There are a shit ton more records to listen to.

Ladies Room” - just dumb. Hats off to the guy for making a bazillion dollars writing this crap, but still.

Baby Driver” - The Peter Criss songs are all over the place. Again, I ask myself what people see in this...oh wait, they look like something from a Muppets nightmare. According to Wikipedia, Stanley wanted Rod Stewart to sing it but Simmons wasn’t down. Probably cost too much money in Simmons’ eyes.

Love’em and Leave’em” - I’m guessing most Kiss fans were bottle-fed as babies because this formula is whack.

“Mr. Speed” - Lynyrd Skynyrd rip off with some disco-y back up vocals. Super dumb lyrics, as usual. They don’t even really make sense. Is he bummed? Ambivalent? Vain? Yes.

“See You In Your Dreams” - I totally forgot to even comment on this one.

Hard Luck Woman” - Criss is doing his Rod Stewart thing on this one. I’m starting to wonder if Rod Stewart boned one of Simmons’ girls? Maybe that’s why they didn’t collaborate. Holy shit. Garth Brooks did a cover of this. I have to listen to it next time I want to puke.

“Makin’ Love” - again. Stupid. And to think that somewhere out there, this is someone’s all time favorite song because it was playing the first time they violated an unsuspecting sheep.

Post record thoughts. - This record sucks. Maybe the weakest one yet.

Love Gun (1977) - I was in third grade when this came out. To see those women in Kiss makeup staring up adoringly at the band on the cover of the record was not really something that I could fully comprehend at that moment. Now, though, especially after suffering through the first group of records, I understand. These guys needed to feel like every woman in the world wanted them. Sad. They also started including inserts for Kiss mail order with one. Smart business men those Kiss guys. Well, at least Gene and Paul.

This one sounds pretty good, thanks to Eddie Kramer, who worked on the great Anthrax record Among The Living, although the pairing clearly didn’t work as well on its predecessor.

“I Stole Your Love” - I don’t hate this song, but I don’t think I’ll remember much about it after the next one comes on. I do kinda dig what Criss was doing on the drums, though.

“Christine Sixteen” - Save your brain and just watch Lolita with James Mason.

“Got Love For Sale” - Forgettable song alert. Simmons over singing it a bit.

“Shock Me” - The first Ace Frehley lead vocal. Apparently he wrote it for Gene to sing, but Gene probably didn’t want to be associated with it and they knew they would have to throw Ace a bone since he didn’t get a song on the previous record. Poor Ace. Just not very good. Too bad it is about him almost dying, which makes me feel sad, but if getting supremely shocked pushed this out of him, well, that’s just unfortunate.

“Tomorrow And Tonight” - Another Skynyrd rip off. Paul’s riffs are usually lifted from someone else and Gene’s all sound the same. Basically, this is the prequel to Loverboy’s “Everybody is Working for the Weekend.”

“Love Gun” - Kiss does Iron Maiden before they knew Iron Maiden, essentially. Is Steve Harris a big Kiss fan? They toured together, so who knows?

“Hooligan” - Forgot to pay attention again. I don’t think I hated it nor did it register.

“Almost Human” - Criss doing some interesting things on drums again. Frehley sounding good, too. Makes you wonder if these guys actually played on this song.

“Plaster Caster” - This song is largely forgettable and apparently the real Cynthia Plaster Caster felt the same way until the Lemonheads covered it. Gene Simmons is a poseur of the highest order.

Then She Kissed Me” - This is like being jacked off with a very dry hand. It just gets more and more unpleasant as it goes along and the happy ending never really comes. Phil Spector had more luck with the Ramones, although I’m guessing Spector and Kiss didn’t collaborate on this at all and I don’t care to look it up.

Post listening thoughts… another largely forgettable effort by Kiss that I will most likely never listen to again. On the bonus tracks, though, I did kind of like “Much Too Soon.”

Alive II (1977) - This is the first record I ever bought by Kiss. I listened to it a few times all the way through and then would usually only listen to “Detroit Rock City” and “Beth,” which I really liked at the time. The live records, though, as I listen to them now, really capture the appeal of the band way more than the studio records. I do remember loving the record cover, though, until I traded it for some Space 1999 schwag that a friend of mine in 4th grade had. I wish I still had that schwag.

The mixing on this record has some moments that are kinda weird, too. “King of the Nighttime World” is pretty strange and empty sounding. Weird for a guy like Kramer who made such full sounding records.

Side 4 has some unreleased stuff on it…

“All American Man” - Bob Kulick on guitar. I guess another time to say, “Fuck, Ace.” Also, this must’ve been one of those times when they were like, “What do we put on side four that hasn’t been on anything else.” This song is just dumb like so many others.

“Rockin’ In The USA” - I hate Gene Simmons. This song sucks. I’m done with Kiss.

“Larger Than Life” - see above comment.This one is watered down AC/DC with more self-gratification.

“Rocket Ride” - Another “Let’s throw Ace a bone” song. Apparently Ace played the bass on this one, too. Gene couldn’t be bothered. He was probably busy writing a song about his cat, I mean, penis.

“Any Way You Want It” - Dave Clark cover. Sucks.

After listening...I don’t care what you say. This will always be the first Kiss record I ever bought and then traded for toys I probably didn’t think about for 40 years.

Kiss Meets The Phantom of the Park - This was a big deal. I had just turned 9 and it was the thing to see. I remember everyone being so excited and then the next day...not much was said. Perhaps we were too sophisticated, being 4th graders, to really enjoy the stupidity of it. I have seen bits of it, here and there, since then and it is pretty hilarious. Almost as hilarious as the band members banning its mention for many years after they did it. That’s kinda like, “Don’t look us in the eye.” Money grab. Also, quite possibly the worst fight scene music ever. How could a band with somewhat heavy riffs allow for that nonsense? Didn’t they realize that they could have sold those songs on a soundtrack?

Interlude - The Solo Records

Peter Criss - This is just really bad. It’s just so 70s and not in a good way. “I Can’t Stop the Rain” is such an obvious attempt to capture the spirit of “Beth” that it makes me throw up a little in my mouth.”Kiss the Girl Goodbye” sounds like an America rip-off band.

Paul Stanley - Sounds like a sedate Kiss record.Paul likes those big sing-a-long choruses that just ooze Stanley juice. “Wouldn’t You Like to Know Me” is another one of those lost early 80s teen angst movie soundtrack songs.”Take Me Away” is a double shit sandwich, is the other ballad, “Hold Me, Touch (who gives a shit).”

Gene Simmons - The most star-studded of the solo records in terms of guest musicians. Helen “Fucking” Reddy? Damn. Donna Summer? Who fucking knew? I still don’t like this piece of shit, though as I dive in. Hopefully it will get better.

How could the bass player from the band have the weakest bass of all the solo records? “See You Tonight” is maybe the sappiest of his lyrics to date. “If I can’t see you tonight, I’ll cry”???? I’m curious if Ace and Peter rolled their eyes when they heard “Man of 1000 Faces”? The Beatles-esque vocals on some of the songs is pretty effective. On the whole, I had never listened to this record before and it’s not as bad as I had hoped, although the irony of “Mr. Make Believe” is not lost on me. I can’t even comment on the last track. Terrible way to end what turned out to be a mildly listenable record.

Ace Frehley - One song in and it’s already the best of the solo records. Plus, I recently learned that Ace and John Belushi were buddies, so that’s enough to make him the coolest member of Kiss. Riff rock, basic, and decent background music. I doubt I would have liked it in 1979, but I don’t hate this. Some of the background vocals are cheesy, especially compared to Gene’s star-studded solo effort. “Snow Blind” is still a killer riff. It also doesn’t hurt that Anton Fig and Will Lee are his rhythm section.

Dynasty (1979) - First of all the TV show of the same name was so much better. This is the first Kiss record to feature only two lead vocals from Gene. Also, only two Gene songs. Ace gets the same amount of traction as Gene? How did that work? Oh right, Ace had the best selling solo record. Better ride that train to dollar town while you can.

“I Was Made For Lovin’ You” - Wow. I guess I have to remember this was 1979 and there were still a few remnants of disco left. If Rocky III hadn’t come out a few years later, I would have thought that this song was also a rip off of “Eye of the Tiger.” So colossally bad.

“2,000 Man” - Ace leading the way on a somewhat respectable Stones cover. They managed to do what they do best here and bubblegum the shit out of something. Ace sound more confident than in past lead vocal attempts. I have to believe that the guys in Redd Kross loved this cover.

“Sure Know Something” - seriously, what the fuck is this? I have to believe that there were a lot of disappointed and confused teenage boys in America when this song came across their stereo the first time. I feel like I’ve been Rick-Rolled.

“Dirty Livin’” - Snooze fest. Is Peter Criss talking about heroin addiction here? Gene is playing the bass like he’s been on a cruise for months. All lazy and slide-y like.

“Charisma” - Another super lazy song. Why didn’t they just copy the Ramones and make the same record over and over. The chorus is terrible.

“Magic Touch” - Wow, this record really fucking sucks. If this would have been their first record, people would have realized what a joke they actually are right off the bat and we wouldn’t have had to suffer through Kiss ever again.

“Hard Times” - Ace being Ace. Simple, kinda catchy, and not the worst Kiss lyrics, but super predictable. “I don’t wanna be there…” lyrics to inspire a generation of spoiled athletes who want a trade.

“X-Ray Eyes” - From the very beginning, you know it is a Gene song. I’m getting tired of writing this, but Gene has his themes. He writes a lot about women lying to him. Is this projection or did he just pick one liar after another?

“Save Your Love” - Outside of the chorus, this is an okay song. Ace definitely had the best songs on this record.

Unmasked (1980) - Is it telling that some of the very first lyrics talk about taking off the disguise? No Peter Criss on this record. No balls, either.

“Is That You” - Tripe. Garbage. Nothing special. Pre-cursor to Huey Lewis and the News

“Shandi” - More shit. Paul with two totally unremarkable songs to start the record. Fanboys are rolling in agony listening to this. How could this be the same band as “Detroit Rock City?” I can’t even finish it. David Fricke’s review in Rolling Stone of this song is hilarious. Doobie Brothers in Kabuki makeup.

“Talk to Me” - “Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, I just want you to turn it off.”

“Naked City” - Shit.

“What Makes The World Go Round” - A Ramonesian attempt to re-use previous riffs. What is Gene doing on the bass in this one? Sounds a bit like the Styx or the Tubes, in a way, and not in a good way.

“Tomorrow” - This sounds a bit new wave-ish, but in the way that the shitty new wave bands sounded. Are we really going to fall in love tomorrow? The keyboards were probably the object of homophobic slurs at some point.

Two Sides to the Coin” - It has just occurred to me that Kiss wants to be the Cars on this record and it is a spectacular fail. This song is a little catchy, in that Cars/Styx kinda way. But not good. Ace is letting me down here.

She’s So European” - She’s so lame.

Easy as it Seems” - I’ve been hoping for one decent song towards the end of this piece of shit record and this is not it.

Torpedo Girl” - Ace saves the record from being total trash. This is kind of a fun song. It’s got a nifty groove to it and is unoffensive.

You’re All That I Want” - Again. This song represents all that is wrong with Kiss. Totally basic rock and roll. Amateurish lyrics. No make up and this never gets out of a shitty New Jersey bar where they play to 32 people on a Saturday night.

Music From “The Elder” (1981) - All I can think of here is Cheech and Chongs’ Corsican Brothers. Like, something you want to forget good people did. Although, I’m still not convinced that Kiss are good people. Lou Reed has several writing credits on this record. That baffles me. He must’ve thought it was a way to pay for all the drugs.

“A World Without Heroes” from Fridays is classic cheese.

It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate further on this record other than this: What the fuck? Who told them this was a good idea? They should have called it “Grasping at Straws.”

The one song that I kind of like is “The Oath” which is track 8. “Mr. Blackwell” starts out pretty cool, too, and the instrumental, “Escape From The Island” is eminently listenable...but “I” is god awful. Reminds me of “Flash Gordon” by Queen, which came out the year before.

Killers (1982) - Only going to touch on the new songs here from this weird compilation of almost all Paul songs.

“I’m A Legend Tonight” - This song is sucky. It just sort of oozes a bad feeling. If I were a fan who bought this turd, I would have been bummed.

Down On Your Knees” - This seems like recycling, to me, and touches on the early days of Kiss. Yay! Kiss gets blowjobs. Byran Adams, yes, the “Summer of ‘69” guy, is a co-writer on this pig.

Nowhere to Run” - This is sort of strange chord progression for Kiss and the arrangement stands out, too, compared to the other songs on the record. Yawn.

Partners In Crime” - Yuck. This is tired crap. Maybe the next record will be better.

Creatures of the Night- (1982) I have to admit that I made it through all 9 tracks of Creatures of the Night without being completely disgusted. While it starts off weak, it gets better and heavier as it goes on. Am I listening to too much Kiss?

Creatures Of The Night” - This is Kiss back to the form that many of its fans probably loved. The lyrics are dumb, yes, but Steve Farris’s guitar is pretty darn good. He would later go on to be in Mr. Mister.

Saint And Sinner” - Typical metal-lite song from Gene. Not terrible, but kind of plods along and you wait for it to get better, but it never does. Chorus is above average for Gene.

Keep Me Comin’” - Typical Kiss song about sexual innuendo. Worst song on the record. Guitar work probably inspired thousands of terrible bands.

Rock And Roll Hell” - kind of a “Party on, Wayne” kind of song. Admittedly, I’m a sucker for the low key bass rumble here.

Danger” - Totally Vinnie Vincent here. The guitar is what sells this song. Everything else about it is almost instantly forgettable.

I Love It Loud” - Anthemic Kiss at it’s best. It’s hard not to like this song. Probably highly influential to some of the NYHC bands.

I Still Love You” - God, Kiss loves a ballad. This one isn’t terrible. Paul actually reaches for some seemingly real feelings here. Robben Ford’s guitar work here is pretty cool, too.

Killer” - Typical dumb Gene lyrics over a basic metal song.

War Machine” - Not super flashy, but for me, Eric Carr makes this song reach some heights that Peter Criss could probably not have gotten it to. Not quite as good as “I Love It Loud” but pretty easy to forget this is Kiss.

Lick It Up (1983) - This one takes me back. Not because I liked it, but being a freshman in a high school that had more metal fans than I had ever been around at one time was overwhelming. “Lick It Up” is still a song that makes me inwardly cringe. I think the oversaturation that happened that year, thanks to MTV and the unmasking hubbub, was enough for me. I distinctly remember thinking that they had worn masks because they were not particularly great to look at. The addition of Vinnie Vincent as a primary songwriter is really evident here. In those days, though, if I was listening to metal, it was the Crue or Iron Maiden. Shout At The Devil and Number Of The Beast were big for me. It’s kind of too bad that they couldn’t co-exist with Vinnie for longer.

Exciter” - This song just screams, Vinne and Eric are officially here. Not terrible. Not really memorable.

Not For The Innocent” - Gene likes his songs to plod along in the beginning a lot, I’m noticing. He’s also growing up and now writing more about being an outlaw rather than just a horny teenager.

Lick It Up” - Hate this song. The video was so awful.

Young And Wasted” - Pretty rockin’ song. This one would have made up for “Lick It Up” if I had listened to this record back then.

Gimme More” - Good guitar work and I don’t hate the drums. The rest is pretty underwhelming.

All Hell’s Breakin’ Loose” - I don’t hate Paul kinda rapping the beginning of the song. It’s not really rap, but it has a groove. Their choruses continue to just slay me, though, and not in a good way.

A Million To One” - Filler. Background noise.

Fits Like A Glove” - Teenage Gene is back.

Dance All Over Your Face” - And again. Is this song about physically abusing a stripper?

And On The 8th Day” - Kind of a nod back to early Kiss. Not offensive. Not great.

Gene interview on NPR with Terry Gross - wow. What an asshole he was to her. Really. He said she was rude to him, but I listened twice and she was not. “I want to be in a rock and roll brand.”

Animalize (1984) - Apparently this record is more Paul than Gene because of all the other things Gene was up to in these days, pursuing acting and other business ventures..

I’ve Had Enough (Into the Fire)” - Paul Stanley always kicks off Kiss records. The formula is getting very apparent to me. This song is basic metal 101. A little on the hair side.

Heaven’s On Fire” - I’m curious about what was going on with Paul that he had two songs with “fire” playing a prominent role in the lyrics. Hemorrhoids? I remember this song from high school. Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now.

Burn Witch Burn” - Mark St. John with a catchy guitar riffs to start this one out and a decent lead towards the end. After that and in between, it’s pretty standard Gene fare and another terrible chorus.

Get All You Can Take” - This is bar metal. You can hear this in bars all over America any night of the week. Move along.

Lonely Is The Hunter” - I think I fell asleep during this song because I can’t remember listening to it.

Under The Gun” - The BPMs here kept my attention. This sounds like the new classic “Kiss”...and rocks.I would still rather listen to anything off of Metallica’s Ride The Lightning, though.

Thrills In The Night” - This may be my least favorite Kiss song ever. Seriously bad. What the hell is Paul talking about in the lyrics? This monstrosity must’ve been a team effort.

While The City Sleeps” - Gene phoning it in on this one, for sure. I’m worried that the next song I write will have one of his typical chord progressions in it. Need to listen to some Whitesnake to hear something rock a bit harder.

Murder In High Heels” - Here is the obligatory teen sex romp song by Gene. I don’t even have to hear the words to know it. Just the song title alone.Can he write a song about women that doesn’t include the word “Bitch”? I realize it is still the 80s, but wasn’t somebody offended? Oh wait, Gene doesn’t care.


Asylum (1985) - Bruce Kulick is now the lead guitar player. Yawn. This album sucks. There are zero redeeming qualities.

Just for are some great records that were released in 1985: The Smiths - Meat Is Murder, Husker Du - New Day Rising, Tears For Fears - Songs From The Big Chair, Meat Puppets - Up On The Sun, Slayer - Hell Awaits (fuck yes!), Exodus - Bonded By Blood, Exploited - Horror Epics, Dire Straits - Brothers In Arms, Dead Milkmen - Big Lizard in my Backyard, and that’s just from the first half of the year. My point is this: Kiss should have taken the year off.

King of the Mountain” - Terrible lead off song. Usually they at least have a good riff. This one just sounds like every other hair metal band of the day.

Any Way You Slice It” - The title of this song, for some reason, instantly reminded me of Clint Eastwood’s “Every/Any Which Way” movies and I wanted it to be a tribute to them. It’s actually about having sex with an underage girl. Was Gene ever on Jeffrey Epstein’s plane?

Who Wants To Be Lonely” - Who wants to be interesting? Not this song.

Trial By Fire” - “I don’t care, reaching for the stars” should be “I don’t care about putting out good records anymore.”

I’m Alive” - Another full-on shit sandwich of a song. Ripping Judas Priest off a bit here.

Love’s A Deadly Weapon” - Everything Bruce Kulick is doing here is wasted stupid lyrics.Maybe I’m reading Gene all wrong and he is the victim here for being so irresistable.

Tears Are Falling” - I’m so glad I don’t remember this song, which apparently was the most popular song off this record. There’s a reason they don’t play any of this shit live.

Secretly Cruel” - if Gene was telling the truth in a later interview on NPR, this song would never make it all the way through because he said he couldn’t stomach a woman who smelled of alcohol. This song refers to the woman in question having a “drink.” I doubt he was referencing milk. Douche.

Radar For Love” - This song makes me wish I had “Radar Love” on repeat for three days straight. Viva Golden Earring.

Uh! All Night” - Gene couldn’t even be bothered to play on this piece of crap. Next.

Crazy Nights (1987) - I vaguely remember the opening track and by vaguely, I really do mean it in the truest sense of the word. It seems like the band made an effort to get back to some of the original sounds here for about two seconds Then the crap starts up. I am reminded why I really don’t like this band. Apparently Gene is still off doing his business and acting thing in these years and leaving poor Paul to hold it together. Boo hoo.

Crazy, Crazy Nights” - This is a terrible example of the kind of bullshit that we had to hear in 1987 if you weren’t open minded enough to listen to bands like Anthrax, for example, who put out Among The Living that year. The chorus alone here is enough to make any self-respecting metalhead switch teams. Adam Sandler’s song about Hanukkah is better than this.

I’ll Fight Hell To Hold You” - just bad.

Bang Bang You” - Worse. Utter shit. This is like, “Hey, 14 year old my band, please.”

No No No” - Probably my favorite, and most fitting, Kiss song title ever. This song sums up how I feel about Kiss without even having to listen to it. Kulick channels Eddie Van Halen here and by “channels” I mean rips off his shit completely. C’mon, Gene. Everybody knows you liked early VH, but still.

“Hell Or High Water” - Hey, another nod to the mid 70s Kiss sound. How bad has this band gotten when it gets to the point where a non-Kiss fan like myself gets nostalgic for the early stuff? This song never really gets off the ground.

My Way” - Another VH sounding song. Yuck. Can’t even finish it.

When Your Walls Come Down” - This song actually makes me want to build a wall between myself and this record.

Reason To Live” - Kiss loves a ballad. I don’t love a Kiss ballad. This is pure schmaltzy bullshit. Paul tries, though.

Good Girl Gone Bad” - Since they had already written songs about this particular subject matter for 13 years or so at this point, it was only a matter of time before this song title just made too much sense. Why do they need the line, “Face of a woman but the hands of a child”? That’s just fucking weird.

Turn On The Night” - what the fuck happened to Kiss at the end of this record? This is utter crap. I can’t wait to see how Kiss fans defend this shit. The only redeeming quality is Bruce Kulick.

Thief In The Night” - The Wendy O. Williams’ version is so much better. What a great pairing that was for all involved. The Kiss version is okay, but sounds better with Wendy singing. RIP.

Hot In The Shade (1989) - Like many of the 80s Kiss records, this will be my maiden voyage, so I write this without hearing any of it. I already hate this record just because of the name. I live in Phoenix and I don’t think the Kiss guys really have any clue how true this statement can be.

Rise To It” - I almost liked the opening of this song. A little swampy fun intro for a song about boners.

Betrayed” - Oh no, Gene’s feelers got hurt again. The lyrics come off pretty fake for someone who hasn’t worried about money, at this point in his life, for a decade. Who is he talking to here? Average kiss fans, I suppose...telling people not to feel is about as asshole of a thing as you can do unless you are a complete and total narcissist.

Hide Your Heart” - Paul comes through with a nice song about love and jealousy. Not terrible at all.

Prisoner of Love” - It’s almost like you can set your watch by Gene needing to convey these feelings every record. Formula Kiss/Gene.

Read My Body” - I’ve come to the conclusion that Gene writes the better heavy songs, but Paul’s riffs are often funkier and more interesting. This song would have done zero for me in 1989, and does zero for me now, but it isn’t terrible. This is better than listening to Guns and Roses.

Love’s A Slap In The Face” - I think the worst thing about a lot of these songs is that at some point the band was into them and thought it was a good idea to record and release them. I struggle to picture intelligent and successful men singing and playing some of these with a straight, albeit slapped, face. Gene’s formula #2 on this record.

“Forever” - Ballad time. I picture feathered hair and slow dancing in a high school gym. How many people played this at their wedding? Too many, probably.Michael Bolton was a co-writer? That explains a lot.

Silver Spoon” - Just a rock and roll song by a rock and roll dude. Not terrible. Not particularly memorable (which I seem to be saying a lot). Paul remembers growing up in a relatively modest environment in Manhattan and Queens..

Cadillac Dreams” - This song reminds me of that scene in Sid & Nancy where the dude on the tour bus tries to convince Johnny Rotten that he’s got a good punk song for him about needing a job. This is Gene talking about his primary love, which is money.

King of Hearts” - and Kiss is sounding like VH again in the beginning and then hints of “Runaway”by Bon Jovi, and by hints, I really mean that Kiss has stolen from the Bon Jovi guys.

The Street Giveth And The Street Taketh Away” - Such a Gene song title. Awful chorus. Is it a nod to Bowie? Must be because apparently Gene is a big fan of the Thin White Duke.

You Love Me To Hate You” - This song is such a weird Kiss song. The way the vocals kick in is so unlike them. I’ll have to listen again. It is so reminiscent of something else...can’t quite put my finger on it.

Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell” - I think I've said about everything there is to say about Gene’s songs. This is formulaic Gene again. There, I said it.

Little Caesar” - Eric Carr gets to sing one. Sounds like a less partied out Joe Walsh. Other than that, unremarkable song.Typical Kiss whoa-oh-oh-ohhhs. Yawn.

Boomerang” - This song scares me, at least by title, because it implies it will come back to me when I throw it away. Probably the best song on this record. I like the energy and approach to it. This is fun metal.

Revenge (1992) - What are they revenging against here? I remember hearing about Eric Carr’s death and being kind of sad about it, although I don’t know why. I wasn’t a fan, but I think I could feel for the Kiss guys when he died because he did make them better. Revenge is missing him, for sure.

Unholy” - Vinnie Vincent is a co-writer on this one. Must be why I like it. I never knew I was a fan of his until listening to his contributions to Kiss which tend to be among the better songs of the post-70s era. Sounds pretty trite, vocally and lyrically, but what did I expect? Good riff, though. Since when does Gene get to sing the first song on the record?

Take It Off” - The intro sort of sounds like watered-down Cult who were riding pretty high in 1992. I don’t hate this. Well, I didn’t until it just kept going and going. Seriously, almost 5 minutes?

Tough Love” - Nothing to see here. Move along. Spit” - This is just a dumb song. A nod to Queen? This song is a mess.

God Gave Rock ‘N’ Roll to You II” - So this song was for Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey and it is almost as memorable as that terrible sequel. The version with the Steve Vai solo is better but then again, that’s why that one is in the movie. Overall, though, it’s not a bad bit of background music if you are doing something else and don’t want to be challenged by the music you are listening to at all.

Domino” - I actually like this song. Maybe the best song Gene had done since the 70s?

Heart Of Chrome” - The intro alone kills this song. Dumb name, bad intro, redundant riff. Nope.

Thou Shalt Not” - What is it with the Biblical sounding song titles on the last couple of records, Gene? I prefer “Anti-Pope” by the Damned, but this isn’t terrible. Two decent Gene songs in a row? Holy crap, QAnon is starting to make sense.

Everytime I Look At You” - Ballad time. Salad time. Pallid time. Enough rhymes. Next.

Paralyzed” - It was pushing it to like three Gene songs in a row. This is a bloated filler song.

I Just Wanna” - Any song that has the line, “I got a body built for sin and I’m looking for some action” has to be a Kiss song. I would have thought Gene wrote it, but it’s a Paul song. Like the chorus says, “I just wanna forget you” and I do. Four minutes and six seconds of my life I can’t get back.

Carr Jam 1981” - Best song on the record. Instrumental Kiss songs rule.

Kiss Alive III (1993) - I don’t know if I have it in me to listen to another live record. Okay, I did listen to a few of the ones I’ve enjoyed from the past records and the recordings are pretty decent, although I’m not sure I would listen to the whole thing. Nice version of the “Star Spangled Banner” though.

MTV Unplugged (1996) - This just sounds weird. Whatever the mix is on the bass is just really odd on the first song. “2000 Man” is still probably my favorite and it’s a Stones song. Criss sounds a little rough on :”Beth” but this version is all right, too.

Carnival Of Souls (1997) - Well, let’s see. Bruce Kulick and Eric Singer went out with a bang on this one. It starts off rather promising, too, with “Hate” which has a fresh sound for Kiss (although not for the grunge world which was pretty much over this sound by then). Production is pretty decent, too. The middle of the record is pretty tame...but there are moments at the end that redeem it from time to time although “I Confess” almost brings this down to the disco days’ levels.

Hate” - Look at Kiss getting noisy to start the record. Borrowing a little bit from some of the noisier bands out there. This song sounds like Kiss has been listening to a lot of Soundgarden. I was prepped to “Hate” this song, but I don’t. Gene starts off well on this one.

Rain” - Damn it. I like this song. Paul coming through with a good one. The key question, though, does this promising beginning continue? Also, does it make up for the previous albums that are full of shit?

Master & Slave” - I’m guessing some Kiss fans don’t like this direction the band has gone here, but I do. This song is heavy and fun to listen to...even if it is seriously Soundgarden-esque again.

Childhood’s End” - I like the opening. Please Gene don’t spoil it. But you couldn’t help yourself. The song lost me when the vocals came in.Why does it feel like Eddie Vedder should be singing this? Oh, I know..because it has a decidedly PJ feel…

“I Will Be There” - Okay, seriously, did the Kiss guys move to Seattle in 1995? Now I’m starting to hate the record. EUREKA! BREAK THROUGH MOMENT! Kiss sucks because they rip off people right and left. Yet...this song is one of the best Kiss ballad-y type songs.

Jungle” - Nope. Paul. You have failed me. Don’t dig the opening. Bruce with some nice guitar work, though.

In My Head” - Gene did have to dip back into early 80s metal for a song, didn’t he? I wish the lyrics were about what is really going on in Gene’s head. The lyrics are not terrible, but not particularly honest or seemingly about anything Gene seems to care about.

It Never Goes Away” - Standard metal/grunge riffage. Heavy and slow. I could see the Melvins destroying this song and making it great. Or maybe a band that tunes down to B or C...that would be heavy as fuck.

Seduction Of The Innocent” - Jane’s Addiction anyone? Gene is borrowing some of their vibe here to riff on the hypocrisy of organized Christianity. Not his worst chorus, but not the best either. Kind of ruins an ok song.

I Confess” - Worst song on the record so far. I am choosing to believe that this is Gene’s confession that he is really into men, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In The Mirror” - Kulick saves this song from itself with some good tones. The rest of it is pretty basic and boring.

“I Walk Alone” - Bruce sings lead! It’s an okay song. Nothing special, but it’s a fitting end to the Bruce years.

Psycho Circus (1998) - Gotta dig the funhouse intro. Probably the best thing on the record, though. In retrospect, my enthusiasm for much of Carnival Of Souls is now tempered with the knowledge that Kiss can’t get out of it’s own way. This album sucks.

Psycho Circus” - Other than a fun little intro, this song kinda sucks. The production is really good, but that’s about it. Kevin Valentine’s drums are pretty badass sounding.

Within” - While this song and the first one aren’t quite Metallica length, but they are still too long. Not sure about the lead break/bridge part...but they had to do something to break up the monotony.

I Pledge Allegiance To The State of Rock & Roll” - Nods back to their glam roots, but pretty weak. Should I feel more patriotic than I do?

Into The Void” - Trump’s boy, Ace, is back. Fuck Ace.

We Are One” - What an odd change of sound? Left field song of the record, for sure. It’s still no good, though. Talk about something that Trump would love. This song is a lie.

You Wanted The Best” - This song is pure marketing genius. All the OG guys singing on this one. Sounds like a beer commercial.

Raise Your Glasses” - Ironically titled song after the beer commercial…Some Townshend-esque guitar progressions, but still suck city. Oh Paul, your songs on this one suck.

I Finally Found My Way” - Peter Criss has seen better days. This is a Lifetime movie in the making, I’m sure.

Dreamin’” - Paul is reaching here for that Seattle sound again. After the beginning, it sucks.

Journey Of 1000 Years” - Gene clearly spending too much time with his acoustic. I don’t like this softer side of Gene. Spit some fire, douchebag.

Sonic Boom (2009) -

Modern Day Delilah” - So, i’m typing out the song titles while listening to this one. Not terrible background music, but absolutely not memorable. Should I go back and re-listen? Reminds a bit of Alice In Chains.

Russian Roulette” - This is crap roulette. Gene is clearly not happy with being a paunchy middle aged guy. Dad bod in full force.

Never Enough” - Classic Kiss sound. Yawn. How many times have I heard this now? Don’t Kiss fans ever get bored? Paul sounding like Paul here.

Yes I know (Nobody’s Perfect)” - More classic Kiss sound. Gene’s turn this time. Oh jeez...maybe it’s time to take off your clothes? Sheesh.

Stand” - Such a long hiatus made them really appreciate their sound from the earlier albums and now you can actually hear them better...but these songs aren’t the classics, and I do use that term loosely. The chorus is so bad.

Hot And Cold” - I don’t know how much more I can stand. I’m back to that point. Gene sings about a conquest for the 1000th time.

All The Glory” - Eric Singer sings and bashes away at the drums. Maybe the best song on the record and that’s not singing much.

Danger Us” - Oh Paul...such clever word play. No.

I’m An Animal” - You can tell by the song title it’s a Gene song. Nice bombastic opening riff. That’s where the fun stops, though. Then the demon opens his mouth.

When Lightning Strikes” - Tommy Thayer gets to sing. This is a really tired metal sound here. Bad song. Boring. Dumb. I’m outta here.

Say Yeah” - Damn it. One more song for this snoozer. Didn’t Night Ranger do this first? Or was it Neil Young?

Monster (2012) - Whew. The last one. I have zero expectations that I will be impressed. Time to listen. After three songs, I’ve not hated nor loved this record. Will it get better? Probably not.

Hell Or Hallelujah” - This is a decent rock and roll song. Kiss uses the gang vocal chorus as well or as bad as anyone, depending on the song. In this one, it works. Tommy Thayer’s guitar sound is pretty bland on this one.

Wall Of Sound” - First Gene song on the record and it is a total Gene riff. I hate that I’ve softened in my ability to be immediately repulsed by his songs. This song is not terrible. That’s all I have to say about that.

Freak” - I don’t care for this song. It is trying to be retrospective and I get it. Paul had a deformed ear growing up and was often ridiculed for it, which has clearly carried over, but at this point, the guy has been a rock star, and god-like to so many, that if he feels like a freak, it is because he has perpetuated that myth in his own mind.

Back To The Stone Age” - Please let this song be about bombing somebody...but Gene’s not that clever. There is rarely any irony in his lyrics and when it is there it is often used to denigrate women. This is a good time, party on type of riff though. Dumb lyrics, though, drag this song down a few pegs from being a good time or making me want to party...unless I can party with a different soundtrack. For a guy who buys millions of dollars in real estate, it seems strange that he wants to go “Back to the Stone Age.”

Shout Mercy” - Eric Singer’s drums make this song much better than it should have been. This is some C-list Paul work. You can set your watch by when the lead breakdown will happen in the average Kiss song. F O R M U L A.

Long Way Down” - snoozer...middle of the record filler. Similar to recent records. Billy Duffy-ish lead work.

Eat Your Heart Out” - Gene mashes up Queen with Lynard Skynard here. Southern (England) Rock? I guess it is good that Gene is a fan of a few good artists.

The Devil Is Me” - Did they sit around and say, “You know, we haven’t perpetuated the rumor that we have sold our souls for a while in a song. What do you say we do it now?” Go back to hell, devil. I’d rather listen to the late Charlie Daniels.

Outta This World” - Tommy gets to sing one. This sounds like a bad LA metal band, even though Tommy’s voice is not super far from Gene’s.

All For The Love Of Rock And Roll” - This song sort of sounds like a David Lee Roth song at first. Eric gets to sing here. The drummer songs in Kiss are always kind of on the soft side.

Take Me Down Below”- Here is their AC/DC sounding song. Then Gene starts singing. Another reference to a woman who is drinking in a song, which he supposedly abhors. This song is full of just blatantly dumb lyrics about sex, boats, and elevators.

Last Chance” - The last track on the record and it is pretty tame. Basic, really.


That was about 10,000 words on Kiss songs. If you made it this far, I owe you a beer.

See you tomorrow.

We had one song that sounded like KISS.

87 views2 comments


Dolly Renea
Dolly Renea
Dec 24, 2022

I will have to come back later to finish reading the KISS part. I had to stop after "like a breath of basic air" because it made me laugh so hard that it induced a coughing fit!


Dec 23, 2022

Way, way too much Kiss info for those who are really blasé about this band. I will take you up on that beer someday however…

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