Sometimes love is hard and sometimes it is easy and all the time it requires care. I didn't know what unconditional romantic love was, really, until Rhondi and I had been together for a while. Some days I am still not quite sure I deserve it and some days I forget how to give it. Either way, though, my Valentine is my wife and she means everything to me.
I hope for you, dear reader, that you have this in your life, too. Cherish it and respect it and be who you need to be to keep it. This is another lesson I have had to learn. I respect the life I have now and, more than anything, I want it.
I think a lot of people out there were like I was when I was younger and didn't really believe I deserved to be treated well. I wasn't a great boyfriend or husband to those I was involved with prior to Rhondi. I had my moments, of course, but I was also a terrible communicator and could have done a lot better by everyone had I known then what I know now.
In a lot of cases, I would have known enough to say, "Hey, I really like you, but I'm not the guy for you right now." This is not romantic, of course, but isn't love supposed to be real? I could have been a much better short term dating thing or maybe even just a fling for some of the people I dated for a long time. I didn't have the confidence in myself to know what I wanted and that was not fair to people I cared about in the past.
If I had been better, perhaps I would have been truly ready for what Rhondi brought to my life when we met in 2005. Maybe she needed to see my flaws up close and personal to realize that I was truly the one. Somehow, though, I do believe we could have gotten to where we are now if I had been a little further along in my own acceptance of what she had to offer if I had done a lot more work on figuring out what love truly is and that I do deserve it.
What I know now, though, is that I deserve it and so does Rhondi. On this Valentines Day, I put this out there to the universe: I'm going to continue to grow and love you, babe, with all that I am.
Enjoy this day with someone you love, dear reader.
But fuck Hallmark.
See you tomorrow.
Selfie alert. See how cute we are..