Dear Friends,
What an interesting turn of events on Sunday. I got to perform another wedding. When I left the house at 3:30 or so in the afternoon, I had no idea I was going to be doing a post-super bowl wedding over at my friend Tom’s house. How cool! Love is amazing and I do hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day yesterday.
To Tom and Bobbie, I wish nothing but love and a continued reverence for each other that is inspiring and just plain lovely.
The first time I did a wedding was for Lance and Amy. That was such a treat to do, and it sparked a little fire in me. I realized I love doing weddings. Luckily the Universal Life Church will ordain anyone with an email address and internet access.
Lance was my bandmate in Pinky and Amy was a friend before the two of them even met, so it was a such a privilege to be invited to be part of their big day when it came around. The wedding was at this beautiful golf course in the east valley, and I was super nervous as I drove out to it on my own. The skeptical eyes that had been cast upon me the night before at the rehearsal dinner hadn’t helped my confidence, either, with each family sizing up the “Assfuck” minister.
For those of you who don’t know, Lance and I were in Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Assfuck together. The band was going strong at the time of their wedding and the trend around town was to have friend’s get ordained so they could do your wedding. I liked this idea a lot and as a confident public speaker, I was up for the challenge.
We worked together on making the ceremony what they wanted, and I added some surprises here and there, too. I like this process a lot and it gave me a chance to really get to know their relationship from a different angle. Most of the other weddings I’ve gotten to do have been a similar process and it is nice to feel like I am some small part of solidifying something beautiful.
Lance and Amy are still going strong almost 19 years later (maybe 18…sheesh…can’t remember what year it was when they got married…. maybe 17? Was it right before Rhondi and I met?). The second wedding I did was not quite as fortunate.
It wasn’t long after Lance and Amy got married that Carl and Michelle asked me to facilitate their wedding in 2006. Michelle was a friend of Rhondi’s that I was getting to know a bit at the time and Carl was a friend from the music scene.
The three of us sat down at the house Rhondi and I shared when we first moved in together and talked about what they wanted in a ceremony. It seemed to go well, and I thought they had something special. They had some great ideas as to how they wanted to the ceremony to go and were comfortable with me adding in a few things to the vows and such.
When the big day came, and they chose a beautiful setting at a hotel in Carefree, it was going well. We did the ceremony at sunset and the party began. Since most of our mutual friends were all staying at the hotel, everybody was primed for a good time. We had excellent food and the drinks were flowing as the DJ was getting ready to usher in some dancing and more festivities.
What happened next, though, solidified for Rhondi and me that the marriage wouldn’t last. I had changed out of my suit and was wearing a western-style shirt with pearl buttons and some jeans and Rhondi and I were on the dance floor having fun. At some point, Michelle came up and ripped open my shirt with a look in her eye that was not particularly new bride-like.
Rhondi and I were both taken aback, and we all laughed it off, but it was clear that Michelle might not have been as in love with her new husband as she had just professed to be in front of their family and friends. We all laugh about it now, but within about a year, my record as a minister was 1-1.
Michelle was drunk and high on the moment and doesn’t seem to really recall what happened. She’s happily remarried now to a good dude named Lenny and we love hanging with them when we can, and Carl lives in Oregon.
I was not invited to do their wedding, though.
So far, I only have the one loss. I went on to marry Michael and Tracey, too, Justin and Jana, and then Brian and Mandy. With Tom and Bobbie in the mix, I’ve gotten to either be in the wedding or perform the ceremony of many of my closest friends. I’ve even gotten to do ceremonies for people I didn’t know previously, too, but someone mentioned that I am ordained or wanted me to be part of their children’s wedding.
I especially loved doing my friend Dee’s son’s wedding. It was at this cool house off 16th Street and Northern near the Pointe and fun was had. Getting to know Kyle and Amanda was great and I believe they have added to their family recently. Good for them!
Just realized I’ve been part of three Amanda’s getting married. What are the odds?
There was a time when I thought of doing more weddings as a source of revenue, but it is way better when I know and care about the people I am standing in front of, I think. Love is such a powerful thing, and the experience is like being some sort of love vampire, in a way, as I get a tangible buzz from being part of each ceremony. People are in such good moods, usually, at a wedding. I’ve gotten to have some candid and interesting conversations with some of my friend’s family members who thought I was a full-time minister, but of course, those were completely confidential.
See you tomorrow.
One of my oldest friends, Kevin, and you guessed it, Amanda. They are going strong!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7uStXLPTmNI1C7Tdizwl6c?si=441e9cfaff5a48d8
This jogged a flash of a memory. Did Helena & I drive out from SoCal for a wedding you were a part of? Even more important, was it YOUR wedding? My head is seriously Swiss cheese these days.