Entry date: 4-18-2022 - Random Thoughts on a Monday - Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,

It feels like a random thoughts kind of day today.

One of the fun parts about getting older is the changing consistency of your skin. I scratched myself in the night on Saturday and had a good time figuring out where I was bleeding from on Sunday morning. It made me want to haiku.

Random blood at dawn

Scratch myself and wonder how

Nails got so sharp

There was a time when I considered myself a poet.

*****

I had a dream the other night where I quit The Father Figures. It was a really unpleasant dream. Michael was mad at me about something. I think I was late for practice or something like that. It was a dream. Who the hell knows? But anyway, he got mad at me, and I got mad and said I’m not doing this anymore and that was that. We all kind of left the space we were in without talking and I ended up at this very strange place where I was supposed to climb down into this sort of jungle gym thing, and it looked impossible.

I’m pretty sure it was telling me something about the complexity of relationships. As I thought more about the dream, I came back to the same conclusion. I think the dream made me realize that I can never quit the band. I don’t want Michael mad at me.

*****

I’m guessing there are very few people out there who have played in multiple bands who haven’t quit at least one of them. I’ve actually almost quit The Father Figures a few times during particularly stressful times in my life where what I really needed was to scale things back a bit. Bobby and Michael have been amazing friends and very supportive of me in times where I needed it. I’m not sure if they knew (before now, of course) how much they were helping me stay upright.

*****

I did quit The Freeze after my brief time with them. That was an ugly and regrettable situation. It was a helluva lot of fun to play those songs, though, and get to know Clif and Bill and Aaron. I already knew Zack, of course, and Dave, a bit. There were a lot of factors that played into my leaving and, hindsight being 20/20, they could have all been avoided.

I also quit a band called Smug that I did with my friends, Casey and Drew. It was about a year, maybe, that we did that one. It was a vehicle to get some of Casey’s songs out there and I was happy to help for a time. Then it got weird after we recorded and that was that. It was not too long after that Drew and I were part of the formation of Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Assfuck (PTWKAF). Drew (who was also named Andy during the Polka Dot Pad days) played guitar and I played bass. I’m trying to remember the name of Smug’s drummer. Greg? Gary? Dave? I’m terrible and I feel bad now. We spent a good amount of time together 22 years ago.

We recorded with Greg Sage of the Wipers and something got fucked up with how the recording turned out. Casey went back and remixed some things and took Drew’s guitar out, for the most part, and that wasn’t cool in my book. I regret throwing that recording away, but you do dumb things when you’re mad sometimes. Even while awake.

We played a handful of shows, though, and did have a lot of fun doing Smug. One particular show at the Big Fish Pub was basically for a bunch of Hell’s Angels who showed up a little before our set. For a few minutes there, I thought maybe they were going to kill us or just take our gear, but then things got calm, and they were cool. I did say something stupid about drinking beer with the Hell’s Angels and one of the guys gently reminded me that they were never there, and I could only claim to be drinking with them if they invited me to drink with them or some shit like that.

Other than that, I don’t remember a lot of that. Probably because things were hectic in my life then, too. So hectic back in those days. Probably because I was desperately searching for something that wasn’t there. Happiness? Feeling content? A healthy relationship?

Yes.

*****

I’ve retired a few bands, too. Those stories, though, have been started or will be soon.

*****

Just got back from taking the dog for a walk. Whoa. We almost got into a fight with a very aggressive gray dog. This woman was out walking her two dogs and her two children (guessing 8 and 10). We took what I thought was a wide enough birth around them on 15th avenue. We were heading south, and they were heading north, and Luna and I were in the bike lane.

She stops, which as my friend Michael pointed out, is a no-no. The dogs don’t know what to do and are looking to make something happen. Her dogs lunge at Luna, knocking her to the ground and they are dragging her across the pavement in a second. It was scary and Luna was looking like she was ready to fight. Eventually the woman lets go of her most aggressive dog. I’m screaming, “No!” at this dog and wondering what the hell I should do. Luna is fending it off perfectly well but wants no part of the fight (proud of her). Eventually the woman got her dog under control after traffic on 15th Avenue came to a stop and a guy tried to help.

I got the hell out of there quickly. I think she thought I was about to stomp her dog and even gave me a little shove when she got up, but whatever. Luna is fine. I am fine. Hopefully she is fine. We saw them from a distance on our way home but luckily didn’t have to interact with them again.

Drama!

See you tomorrow.

Random shot of the day. My neck is way too exposed.