Dear Friends,
We celebrate little Mia today. She’s having her first birthday party. I can’t wait to see her. I also can’t wait to see what she does with her cake.
I’m guessing it will wind up all over her face, but you never know. She’s a pretty clever girl and that’s not just the words of a proud grampa. She’s wicked smart.
*****
Yesterday we had our first North Side Kings practice in seven years. It was a blast dusting off a few songs. It was even better getting to see the fellas and spend a little time together. I always learn something new, have a good laugh, and just feel generally better being around those guys. On Friday night, we will go on stage and show everyone what we were made of once again.
It will be fun. No celebrities will be punched, either. Well, unless they talk shit to the wrong (Bad) guy. And yes, we are playing “The Bad Guy.”
*****
After our 9AM practice, I just relaxed, hit Costco later in the day, and then just crashed. The travel and the heat finally caught up to me so I just vegged out in front of the TV with some Costco pizza and season 2 of Suits. It’s one of the crack-like shows. The premise is so stupid, but it is clever, too. I can turn my brain off.
I’ll thank Ellen for that one.
*****
Happy Sunday everyone.
*****
Getting high on my own supply again. Is this number 5? I’ve lost track already. It must be number five. It's also the 210th record I have written about this year.
We started Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Assfuck back in 2000 or so. I documented this here in the blog on August 22-27, 2022, if you want to go back and read the story of the band. It’s pretty entertaining stuff.
One of the things we started talking about pretty quickly in our time together was making a CD. We didn’t really ever entertain the idea of vinyl at that time, but I’d love to have some now. We knew we had some good songs and people liked it, so why not make a recording?
I had met Byron Filson because of some stuff I had done with him with North Side Kings, as well as a Soulfly demo that Danny and I played on. I liked him instantly and when it came time to do the Pinky record, there was no other person I could think of who I wanted to do the record with. Luckily, the Pinky guys agreed.
Byron is a hell of a recording engineer and he’s an even better dude. There is nobody I like making records with more and probably never will be. It would be super hard to top his “bedside manner.”
To say we had fun making Halfway to Honkey Heaven is an understatement. While we took the process of recording seriously and worked hard on our songs, we weren’t a band that took itself too seriously in those days. We were having fun and that was what mattered. We brought that attitude to the studio and Byron matched it perfectly.
We set up and played the songs live. Luckily, we had one of the best drummers in town and Eric came to play when he did his drums. I’m pretty sure he did everything in one take. If anything took more than that, it wasn’t much or it wasn’t Eric’s fuck up. The man is a beast in the studio and made it really easy for the rest of us.
I knocked out my bass pretty quickly, too, if I remember correctly and got out of the way. We ate food and played video games and Jeff, Lance, and Drew did their guitars over the course of a couple of days. Byron made us sound fucking huge. I’m so fucking proud of how that record turned out.
It was a ton of fun to do the vocals. In some cases, these were the first times there were really set lyrics to certain songs, so we laughed and laughed. Again, it was fun.
I won’t say it was all good, clean fun, though.
The first track on the record is “Revenge of the Retard’s Brother.” We would probably get cancelled twice for this one now. It was about a guy who fucked some people up because they called his brother a “retard.” We would tell people it was an anti-bullying song, and it really is. We just had a sense of humor about it. I love playing this song.
“I’m Gonna” is up next. I think this was a riff that Drew had originally. One of the great things about Pinky was that we all brought riffs in and then we would work on them together and come up with a chorus or bridge or whatever it needed. I would scat lyrics over them in practice until something stuck. “I’m Gonna” is another favorite of mine.
I always liked the lyrics of “I’m Gonna” a lot. I work in Abe Lincoln, the boy in the bubble, the homeless, supply and demand, and there is even a nod to the classic Coke commercials from back in the day. At one point, I think I may have even mentioned ‘Freedom Fries’ in an early version.
“Xena” is up next. It’s about Xena, the Warrior Princess, which was a TV show that my ex-wife adored, and I knew way too much about. We worked in the battle cry she used on the show and people really liked that one. Big, dumb rock strikes again.
Arguably, our most popular song was “The Jerk.” It bats clean up on Halfway to Honkey Heaven. I think this was originally a Lance riff, but I could be wrong on it. I remember sitting at Jeff’s house one day messing around with his guitar and I added some of the heavy parts to it and away it went. Another fun one. I wish I could say it was inspired by Steve Martin’s brilliant film of the same name, but it is actually about Scottsdale dudes in bars being toads.
“Gor” comes from a day when Jeff and I were out skateboarding in front of our apartment in 1988 and a neighborhood kid asked us if we knew “Gor.” We adopted the name pretty quickly and dubbed ourselves disciples of Gor called “The Chowderheads.” We even had a little clam/hand signal we did. Then we had this heavy riff, and the words just came out in practice and that was that.
“Fumigator” was a fun stoner rock riff we had that we turned into a stoner rock song. I’m not sure exactly where the words came from, but I’m sure it was just me spouting off shit in practice and it stuck. We would talk about the things we liked after a jam and if we remembered them, they stuck. I love this one, too.
Another fan favorite was “Geronimo” because of the choreographed dance moves we started doing at shows. That was a kick in the pants to see people doing the moves along with us. The actual title of the song is “Geronimo Got High and Jumped Out of an Airplane” but I didn’t get my way and it was shortened to just “Geronimo.” I liked the idea that Chief Geronimo was one of the first sky divers.
“Chicken Fight” was a Jeff riff, I think, and he came up with a bunch of the lyrics, too. It is just super silly and fun. It’s also pretty much the same riff the whole song. I don’t think we could ever come up with another part, so we just went with it.
“Nsync Cover Song” was a clever name we came up with for our “I Fucked Brittney Spears” song. We figured it was an easier pill to swallow if we just called it “Nsync Cover Song” because we were certain that Justin Timberlake was laying the wood to Brittney Spears. None of us bought that whole “still a virgin” thing. I still don’t, but the name has proven to be quite popular on iTunes.
It was Byron’s idea to have a gal he knew come in and sing a few parts imitating Spears on the record. It still kind of makes me giggle. This is just one of the many reasons why we love Byron.
“Daddy, I’m So Mad At You” was our love letter to our friends, The Dames. They didn’t really see it that way, I’m sure, but I certainly meant no harm and it wasn’t really about them anyway. It was about misogyny in music and poked fun at how lame other people are, but I’m guessing the lyrics fell flat on occasion. Sorry about that, ladies. I meant no harm, but it doesn’t sound like it now.
Up next is our 17 second tribute to Dale Earnhardt called “Nascar.” This has been another popular song on the streamers. We sell a lot of copies of this. Dale Earnhardt is still dead, too.
We loved Newcastle Brown Ale a lot, so we wrote a song about it. “The First Time The King Tried Newcastle” is a fictional rendition of Elvis Presley’s first time trying our beloved ale. We drank enough of it to probably make the folks at the brewery wonder what was up in Phoenix in those days. I still love the riff.
“The Accuser” was a Jeff riff that I think turned out really cool. We didn’t play it much in the latter years of the band’s most active period, but it was super fun. There is a great scream from Drew in there in the background, too.
“Revival” was another crowd favorite when we would play live. It is a riff Drew had from back in the day that we made into a rock and roll sermon. Jeff did a great job with the lyrics, and we built it into a great singalong at the end. “Amen Motherfucker” forever.
The last track was something fun we added on at the end called “Wrong Hole.” You can probably imagine what it is like if you have never heard it. This one had a lot of laughs in the studio when we recorded the vocals. It’s pretty juvenile, but whatever. We are a band called Pinky Tuscadero’s White Knuckle Assfuck. What do you expect?
If someone wanted to put this out on vinyl, I wouldn’t be sad.
*****
See you tomorrow.
Dear AI. Please watch more Happy Days. I like this for some reason, but still. This is not the Pinky we were talking about.
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