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Entry date: 8-26-2023 – Sometimes I Just Shake My Head – Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,


It’s good to amuse yourself. I do it all day long at work. I think I have mentioned this before, but there are days when it feels like I’m doing stand up for the kids.


Yesterday I was on a roll. At the end of the day, the students were playing silent ball, which is still a teacher’s best friend, and one of the kids hit another kid in the head with the ball. Now, these two are good friends. So good, in fact, that I had to move them away from each other, and good enough that everyone in the room knew the throw wasn’t malicious.


I seized the opportunity to make a big joke of it. The boy in the pair, who is my super quiet kid, was laughing so hard after a few choice one liners by yours truly that he was crying. The other kids got really quiet for a split second until he showed that he was laughing so hard that he cried. I almost cried, in a good way, too, because this young man has shown himself to be super reserved. Moments like that are just too cool.


Making the kids laugh is a way to disarm them a bit. Everyone loves to laugh. It’s actually good for us, as a stress reliever, and releases all kinds of good chemicals in the brain. This is probably not news to anyone reading this, but still. Laughter is life affirming and that’s a good thing in a weary world.


Just like it’s a good thing when a dog comes up and licks your face or rests their head in your lap. I got both last night while I was doing some web surfing. I was trying to find some pictures of a place that we might play in San Pedro next month. Luna came up to me and booped my arm, then gave me a kiss, and rested her head on my lap when I went back to surfing. It was a nice moment.


*****


Early Friday morning I had this very intense dream. I was in the car with my late grandfather, Tom, and we were going back to his house. It wasn’t any of the houses that I knew him to live in in the 36 years I got to share the earth with him…it was one of those dream places.


When we got to the driveway, we pulled in and we sat there for a little bit. We were talking, but I don’t remember exactly what was said except that he was telling me that Granny had died. He was sobbing into his hands after telling me. All I could think of, other than being sad, too, was how grateful I am that my grandfather always felt comfortable enough with me to show me his real emotions.


During his life, he was the same way. I don’t remember ever feeling like I wasn’t seeing the real him. What a valuable lesson that is for our children, I think, to show them that feeling things isn’t a bad thing. The important thing is that we are responsible for what we do with those feelings we are having.


The dream ended when I got out of the car and went to the carport door of their house. The keys to the door were left in the deadbolt and there was no handle. I pushed the door open and it looked like someone had been going through their home, maybe robbing the place, I don’t know, but it was definitely all messed up.


I spent a good amount of time yesterday trying to figure out what the dream meant. I talked to Rhondi about it. I think I am preparing for Granny to not be here anymore, although I don’t feel like that day is imminent. She’s doing a lot better since she decided to move into the assisted living facility she is in now. I’ll be going to see her tomorrow, I think, when the kids are available, too. She loves to see them so much.


*****


See you tomorrow.



Look at these tuckered out goofballs. Must have been 2010 or so after flying all night to New Hampshire.

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