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Entry date: 8-26-2023 – Sometimes I Just Shake My Head – Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,

It’s good to amuse yourself. I do it all day long at work. I think I have mentioned this before, but there are days when it feels like I’m doing stand up for the kids.

Yesterday I was on a roll. At the end of the day, the students were playing silent ball, which is still a teacher’s best friend, and one of the kids hit another kid in the head with the ball. Now, these two are good friends. So good, in fact, that I had to move them away from each other, and good enough that everyone in the room knew the throw wasn’t malicious.

I seized the opportunity to make a big joke of it. The boy in the pair, who is my super quiet kid, was laughing so hard after a few choice one liners by yours truly that he was crying. The other kids got really quiet for a split second until he showed that he was laughing so hard that he cried. I almost cried, in a good way, too, because this young man has shown himself to be super reserved. Moments like that are just too cool.

Making the kids laugh is a way to disarm them a bit. Everyone loves to laugh. It’s actually good for us, as a stress reliever, and releases all kinds of good chemicals in the brain. This is probably not news to anyone reading this, but still. Laughter is life affirming and that’s a good thing in a weary world.

Just like it’s a good thing when a dog comes up and licks your face or rests their head in your lap. I got both last night while I was doing some web surfing. I was trying to find some pictures of a place that we might play in San Pedro next month. Luna came up to me and booped my arm, then gave me a kiss, and rested her head on my lap when I went back to surfing. It was a nice moment.


Early Friday morning I had this very intense dream. I was in the car with my late grandfather, Tom, and we were going back to his house. It wasn’t any of the houses that I knew him to live in in the 36 years I got to share the earth with him…it was one of those dream places.

When we got to the driveway, we pulled in and we sat there for a little bit. We were talking, but I don’t remember exactly what was said except that he was telling me that Granny had died. He was sobbing into his hands after telling me. All I could think of, other than being sad, too, was how grateful I am that my grandfather always felt comfortable enough with me to show me his real emotions.

During his life, he was the same way. I don’t remember ever feeling like I wasn’t seeing the real him. What a valuable lesson that is for our children, I think, to show them that feeling things isn’t a bad thing. The important thing is that we are responsible for what we do with those feelings we are having.

The dream ended when I got out of the car and went to the carport door of their house. The keys to the door were left in the deadbolt and there was no handle. I pushed the door open and it looked like someone had been going through their home, maybe robbing the place, I don’t know, but it was definitely all messed up.

I spent a good amount of time yesterday trying to figure out what the dream meant. I talked to Rhondi about it. I think I am preparing for Granny to not be here anymore, although I don’t feel like that day is imminent. She’s doing a lot better since she decided to move into the assisted living facility she is in now. I’ll be going to see her tomorrow, I think, when the kids are available, too. She loves to see them so much.


See you tomorrow.

Look at these tuckered out goofballs. Must have been 2010 or so after flying all night to New Hampshire.

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