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Entry date: 8-31-2023 – Jauntily Daunted – Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,


Yesterday during class, I was reading The Mouse And The Motorcycle to my students. In Chapter 5, Ralph Mouse is described as “jauntily” sitting on the motorcycle. Such a good word. A true adverb, too.


I’ve been battling with my brain for months now on what to do with all this stuff I’ve been writing. The conclusion I’ve come to is that I need to go through and sort it into piles of stuff, then look at the stuff when it is all together. Then I’ll decide whether or not to stuff it somewhere out of sight or do stuff with it. Stuff.


*****


I have boxes of things.

Big ones and small ones.

Boxes inside boxes.

Empty boxes.

And boxes that have spilled.

What are these boxes?

Are they me?

Do they own me or do I own them?

Do they show me or do I show them?

Shove them; for sure.

Does needing them make me insecure?

If I love them too much

Will there be a cure?

Repair me, I’m cured.

Put the bill in a box.

Send it to me.

If it’s in a box

I will take it more seriously.

There are boxes with strings.

Strings to more things.

Strings to a time travelers perilous climb.

It was sublime.

Strings to

That one time a bee had to sting.

Strings to that one time that we had a fling.

Strings to the pain that…

Comes from unspoken goodbyes.

Here lies…

That’s a box I can’t get behind.

Unless it’s a Van’s box with my ashes inside.

Leave it someplace that you find

That you think I’d like – “that’d be fine” –

(boxcar passing by)

That’s my time.


*****


I’ve been watching I’m Dying Up Here on Showtimeville or whatever the streaming side is called. It’s a tough one. I like it, but It’s not a happy show. That line, “That’s my time” is used well in it, kind of like an auditory exclamation point. It’s not just the words, it is the way it contributes to the timing of the scene.


The fucking ending of the second season, though. I need to process it a bit more.


*****


I started thinking about “Little Boxes” by Malvina Reynolds and more famously performed by Pete Seeger. I think I heard it first when watching Weeds (another Showtime show). I love the lyrics Reynolds wrote. They are poking fun, sure, but they are also a brilliant example of saying, “I see you.”


*****

From The Collected Lyrics of Jimmy’s Brain – The Soundtrack

I might just be passing by

But I see you!

You’re my proud cloud up in the sky

And I see you!


Lalala lalalalalala la di da

Di da di da


Chorus: We see you. We see you.


*****


See you tomorrow.



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