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Entry date: 11-18-2024 – Stupid Spaghetti Company – Letters to My Friends

Dear Friends,

 

Being a taxi dad has it’s disadvantages. Last night, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed around 8 and pass out, but no. Liam had to close and that meant that I got to stay up and go for a ride. Yay.

I am beginning to hate the Spaghetti Factory.

 

I’m old enough to remember when it was the Spaghetti Company. We used to eat there every once in a while, when I was a kid. Dad had trade with it because they advertised with the outdoor advertising company he worked for and then later, we used to have work meals there when I was at Casa. It’s been a staple downtown for a long, long time. I can’t wait for Liam to get a job closer to home or get a car.

 

***** 

 

My back was aching like a mofo yesterday, too. It didn’t stop me from doing two different practices. One with the Freeze and one with Living Room Collective, but it wasn’t making it any easier, either.

 

During Freeze practice, we added two more songs to the set. I think they will be good additions and allow us to start mixing things up a bit more. One of them should be a treat for a fan who is coming all the way from Australia to see the show in Tempe next month. That’s so crazy.

 

It’s a fun song to play, too, which is nice.

 

Our Living Room Practice was really fun, too. We had a new dude there, Steven, who is a friend of Michael C.’s. He played some electronic drums and that really added a lot to our sound. I would certainly not be sad if Steven became a regular member of the LRC. It made my job a lot more fun to have a live drummer doing his thing next to me.

 

***** 

 

Here is to a productive week for everyone.

 

*****

 

When I listen to Locust Abortion Technician, I am reminded of why I love the Butthole Surfers so much. It has everything a fan like me can want. It’s got the straight up rockers, the weirdness, the noise, and some more noise. Oddly, though, I tend to overlook this record a lot of the time.

 

Perhaps it is because there is some uncomfortable memories associated with this one. This record was often a go to for me when I was living alone and feeling bummed out. It’s got a lot anti-social, let’s call them, moods. I put it on to help me feel worse, I think, even though there are moments where I can’t help but get a little happier.

 

“Sweat Loaf” is probably the most quoted Surfers song for me and my crew because, well, if you do see your mom this weekend, be sure and tell her “Satan! Satan! Satan!” It just works. This is one of the heavier Butthole Surfers riffs even though it is a Black Sabbath song twisted into a new shape. The lyrics are pretty insensitive, but Locust Abortion Technician is probably the Surfers at their most offensive.

 

I mean, c’mon. “Rape! Up his ass!” is a bit harsh. I think that’s what Gibby Haynes shouts over and over during “Sweat Loaf.” I have all kinds of questions, but I’m guessing I would not like the answer. The dudes in the Surfers do not strike me as having been the most enlightened back in 1987 when Locust Abortion Technician came out. They were being funny and for years, I thought it was. Now…I just think it is a heavy song from 1987 and I’m not laughing.

 

Luckily, the rest of the record is less rape-y until you get to the mother of all ‘rape-y’ songs, “22 Going on 23.” I’d like to believe the guys in the band were not making fun of the young woman who they sampled and manipulated for the sake of a trippy, scary song. I certainly didn’t care for the way that song made me feel back then, especially when listening to the record with a heightened state of consciousness.

 

In the middle, though, it is fucking rad.

 

There are two versions of “Graveyard” and a wonderfully weird song, “Pittsburgh to Lebanon” which talks about a stretch of Pennsylvania road. In fact, that whole middle stretch of side A between “Sweat Loaf” and the mighty “Human Cannonball” is weird and noisy and makes me glad to be alive in the same universe as Paul Leary, Jeff Pinkus, King Coffey, Gibby Haynes, and Teresa Taylor.

 

“Hay” is probably the cream of the weirdness crop here. Leary’s backwards guitar part that weaves through the song is spectacular. There is some seriously fucked up samples happening in “Hay” and it’s a bad ass song.

 

When it ends and “Human Cannonball” starts, the record really takes off. “Human Cannonball” is one of my favorite Surfers songs. It’s a total rocker. Gibby kinda rules on it, too. The lyrics are super catchy.

 

Side B is noisy and fun, too. “U.S.S.A.” is just the band fucking around. “The O-Men” has some of the most entertaining vocals and vocal effects on the record. It’s like Captain Caveman fronting a hardcore band. Then “Kuntz” which is a laugher and super psychedelic. The second version of “Graveyard” or “Graveyard – Pt. 2” is the best version. Leary’s guitar heroics are sublime.

 

(See what I did there?)

 

Lastly, the aforementioned “22 Going on 23” closes things out in about the creepiest way possible. It just kind of makes me uncomfortable now. I can’t help it. Too many years in sexual violence prevention. I would love to talk to one of the Surfers about this song. I wonder if that would make a good article. Songs that bands might regret now.

 

Either way, though, I still love Locust Abortion Technician. I can forgive them for being uninformed. I know Pinkus, Coffey, and Leary are not the kinds of dudes who would want women to feel like the band was making fun of them. I hope the same for Gibby and RIP Teresa.

 

***** 

 

See you tomorrow.



Wow. So, I asked AI to create "Locust Abortion Technician as if imagined by the creators of Sesame Street." Wow.

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